Mary feels a painful sensation in her leg and immediately wakes up from a deep sleep

God: Mary! Are you there? Are you up?
Mary: Shhh, you're going to wake someone.
God: Don't worry, they can't hear this…I'm in your head. Plus, I put a pillow over Jesus's face.
Mary: What! You could kill him!
God: Take it easy, he'll be fine. Besides, I've killed Jesus at least a hundred times, he's a tough nut to crack.
Mary: God that's awful! Where are you at?
God: Oh, I'm just walking home from my buddy's place. Lazarus. You know Lazzy? I love that guy, he kills me.
Mary: One second, let me go outside. Have you been drinking again?
God: hiccups A little.
Mary: You always say that…what do you need?
God: I was just thinking about the past a lot lately and I wanted to know if you would like to give "us" another chance.
Mary: What are you talking about? What "us"?
God: You know, me and you, the good ole days.
Mary: God, I accidentally sat on your…well, you know, when I was trying to put on my pants and that caused a lot of unwanted drama in my life.
God: Yeah, but what made you choose that chair?
Mary: It was 1 BC, no one had more than one chair.
God: Well geez Mary, I was just trying to call to see how you were doing.
Mary: That's a lie.
God: Fine Mary! It's been a really emotional week for me. I miss you, there I said it!

begins raining

Mary: Are you crying?
God: …Maybe…It's just…well Mary, every rose has its thorn just like every night has its dawn just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn.
Mary: That's from the future isn't it?
God: No baby, it just came to me.
Mary:
Oh, alright, well then what's a cowboy?
God: Umm…it's a man who…well…you see….they have them in India, you wouldn't understand. Baby, I'm just sad that we ended so badly.
Mary: We didn't end, we didn't start, we never were anything.

thunder pounds the sky

God: I hate curbs.

stops raining, clouds open up showing a beautiful starry night

God: Mary, let me take you to cloud nine tonight.
Mary: No God. I'm going back to bed.
God: Fine Mary Bo-Barry! Your loss! You act like your the only girl I've been with. Ha, makes me laugh. I'm going to get so much tail tonight it's not even funny. So much tail.
Mary: Goodnight God…

The next morning

Joseph: Honey, did that earthquake wake you up too?
Mary: Yeah, it only went on for a couple seconds right?
God: More like a couple hundred…High-Five!
Joseph: I hate that guy.
Mary: Same.