Ah, the second date. The jitters are out of the way, we admit we like the girl, and it’s down to business to see if we’re –really- going to like her or not. Thus begins the second episode of Pushing Daisies.

What did we learn in this episode? Binging and purging is fun! Japanese people love crashes! People can break out into song for no reason! Body condoms can be sexy! In make-believe land, cars can run on flowers! Big black guys knit, too! Chuck is still dead but can die again! Dogs like salt!

As is the case with many TV shows, the stars return after the pilot with different haircuts due to the time between filming the first episode and being told they were worthy of a second one. They’re all back though and ready for a second adventure with several small problems like,Chuck was dead and is alive again, Ned loves the previously dead girl, the girl who used to be dead loves him back, and they can’t touch.

No one is really happy about Chuck’s return other than Ned and Chuck. Emerson, Ned’s private investigator, can’t stop knitting his frustrations away. Olive, the Lilliputian waitress at Ned’s pie shop, is desperately in love with Ned and feels threatened by Chuck’s sudden appearance. When a dude ends up run over by a flower-powered car, they have to ban together to solve another mystery and collect another reward.

It seems like the format of the show is to begin each episode with a murder and a subsequent reward for Ned, Emerson, and Chuck to recover. Then the trio will meet whoever was most directly touched by the dead person’s death and try to put things back together while the sexual frustration of not being able to touch each other at risk of death looms.

It’s tough—I mean, Mulder and Scully may have been fired and lost their government pensions and possibly have been abducted by aliens or some crap, but they wouldn’t die. Poor Ned and Chuck, however, have much bigger problems. They’ve taken pains to not touch each other, though, like building dividers in cars, using safety language while in close proximity, and purchasing the jumbo box of full body condoms from BJs. Okay, they didn’t do the last one, but all this frustration better end and soon, or I’ll have to keep watching into “Private Practice” for my soft core, cable lovin’. I don’t need much, just a little T & A. I can’t get by on all this mushy stuff.

In fact, that is the main problem of the show so far—it seems more geared for either a female or a more sensitive audience. I mean, not that I mind—I’ve used up my share of Kleenex boxes, but it’s usually for wiping human fluids that aren’t tears, if you catch my drift. That’s why I can do with less impromptu singing about, you know, feelings and junk.

To counterbalance the gooey emotional stuff, though, at least we had Janine, the binging and purging dandelion model. In all honesty, the way she gorged on her pie and then looked great (although slightly lizard-like) in her cute little track suit made me want to reevaluate the whole bulimia thing. If this is the result of bulimia—french fries, pies, and food galore with none of the love handles—why don’t more people do it? Wait, what’s that? Serious health risks? I’ll take a two week stay in the hospital for fabulous abs any day, my friend.

Back to the episode. The crime fighting trio investigated the dead guy and pinned it back on the creator dude from the company, who likes to dress up like a crash test dummy. You know, those actual dummies used to test crashes, not that one-hit wonder from the early 90s. He captures the group and encloses them in body bags, but they’re bailed out when Emerson’s knitting needle saves them in the best example of someone being saved by a gay hobby since that burglar tripped over my miniature kitten statues and set off the motion sensors. And all is well…until next week!

Random thoughts:

  • We all know Ned really installed that glove-thing in the car for on-the-go hand jobs.
  • I can’t wait for the moment when Ned reveals he killed Chuck’s dad. The worst revelation I’ve ever done with a girl was that I ate the last of her ice cream. She scratched my face up pretty bad.
  • Imagine having to share an apartment with your childhood sweetheart? Jesus, if me and Heather E. had to share a place, it’d be a non-stop bitchfest about all the dudes she’s currently banging.
  • How long until Olive turns evil? You can only be spurned by a love for so long until you eventually turn evil. Little people can do some damage, too—just look at Napoleon. The love of a golden retriever, regardless of how long his tongue, will not sustain a woman forever. Also, I was grateful for the glimpse of her ass as she almost fell off the building and for the extra money I pay each week for the DVR that allowed me to rewind it.