Episode #2.3

Last episode saw Dexter falsely admit that he was a heroin addict, which means he now has to go to treatment. Why couldn’t he just keep denying it? It would have made all of this so much easier. Maybe it’s just that: it would have made all of this so much easier. Damn you, Showtime writers.

We find out that good tea enthusiast Special Agent Lundy put Deb on the Bay Harbor Butcher task force. She tried to get taken off of it all episode since she knows she is still messed up in the head, but apparently Lundy sees some talent in her since she somehow wasn’t killed by her fiance.

Which, in my opinion, is kind of a weird way of getting a promotion.

This could eventually turn awkward so let’s all cross our fingers in unison and hope Deb lives up to her usual silliness (read: idiocy) and doesn’t find any leaks in the case.

Dexter bought a minivan. I don’t know if he’s trying to make himself seem lame now that he’s drawing more heat or if he’s planning to start dragging Rita’s kids to their extracurricular activities. Either way, it threw Doakes off of his trail for about three hours.

Pasquale, the 'new' Lieutendant, is still being a huge urethra. Every single episode, I just sit on my couch waiting for her to get demoted/punched in the face. Laguerta had her chance to sabotage her and get her old job back this episode but was too classy to take advantage of it. What a classy moron.

Dexter has been given an ultimatum from Rita: he either keeps attending his Narcotics Anonymous meetings or their relationship is over. Now that Rita has become strong and secure, she’s starting to get real old, real fast. Is it bad that I liked her better as an abused rape victim?

Showtime viewers released a collective sigh tonight as Doakes discovered Dexter at his N.A. meeting and chalked up all of Dexter’s creepiness to drugs. So as long as he “stays clean,” Doakes will apparently leave him alone. I’m not sure if I buy that though; Doakes has been too obsessed with him to let go so easily.

Dexter eventually decided to give in to Rita’s demands and will keep going to the meetings. In reality, it’s just more convenient for him because it makes Rita stop talking so much, it gets Doakes to leave him alone, and it introduces him to hot ladies with foreign accents.

Did Dex meet a new lady friend at N.A.? Rita’s look of horror was priceless when she saw who he was being sponsored by, which means that we can expect her insistent whining about drugs to be replaced by relentless accusations of him cheating on her.

If you take nothing else from episode three, remember this: Do not call Dexter’s girlfriend a “cunt.” The shady car salesman made that mistake and was quickly relieved of his breathing. Is there any type of “ridding the city of bad people” tax write-off that he is entitled to? I’ve always wondered how much he has invested in saran wrap, tape, and knives. Probably, like, a bunch.

Anyway, I guess the biggest question for next episode is what role Dex’s sponsor plays in the future. Does he somehow identify with her and begin to open up? Will Rita order him to find different meetings to go to? After all, Dexter has been kind of whipped lately.

I wonder if everyone was as surprised as me when it appeared that Deb had broke the pattern of the case. Since all of the corpses will turn out to be criminals, it will look like a vigilante case to the police. Expect manhunts to be organized for both Travis Bickle and the Boondock Saints.

Oh, and you too owe me a Michelin, motherfucker.