Sure, it's all well and good to laugh about honking the rubber chicken, but are you really sure you know what you're laughing about? How can you know for certain that what makes you chuckle about masturbating isn't going to lead to some poor chump's suicide later that day?

Some subjects are just too sensitive to be readily laughed at. Abortion, suicide, rape, child pornography- these are widely accepted as fair game for whatever Wildean quips you have at your disposal. However, only the most heartless of assholes would ridicule one of Man's most beloved pastimes.

Masturbation isn't all butterflies and rainbows. Unlike genocide and abuse of the elderly, there is a dark side to it. How many of you out there know the real truth about self-love? To avoid an unpleasant altercation with a man who takes his jerking off seriously, here are five things that really are not funny about masturbation.