After another appetizing set of opening credits, we move into the sixth episode of Dexter.

So we know that Dex’s biological mom and his foster dad were banging. Some people think Harry could possibly be Dexter’s real dad, but I believe that was debunked last season when Dexter and Rita went to his dad’s house to clean it out (right?). Although I don’t think Harry is Dexter’s biological dad, I think we will find something out about him. Maybe he tipped off the people who chainsawed Dexter’s mom or something, who knows. This whole topic is about ten times more confusing than Daylight Saving Time, so let’s be done with it for now.

Masuka wants a chance to explain the “she-male stuff” to Lundy. She-male stuff: honestly, is anyone even surprised anymore with him?

Lundy requests that Dexter come take a look at the case, which Debra translates into Lundy saying “Dexter Morgan, I have a raging man-crush on you! Please allow me to buy you dinner and felate your sweet cucumber!” In the words of Andy Dufresne, how can she be so obtuse?

We discover that while some people are beer-snobs and some music-snobs, Dexter is quite the murder-snob. While surveying the Bay Harbor Butcher copycat crime scene, he sure is cocky about it all. He was all “Rope? Really? Are you being serious, copycat murderer? Wow. I mean, really? Just completely and utterly pathetic.” (I paraphrased.)

Dexter decides to allow Lila over to take part in the most awkward dinner ever with Rita and her mom. You’d think he would know better than that by now since she’s completely crazy. She almost spilled the beans about Dexter’s mom and their cute, little road trip but slightly saved herself.

At that point, Dexter should have reached across the table and ripped her tongue out to ensure that all of the deep secrets he didn’t tell his significant other were kept safe. After dinner, Rita admits that she likes Lila, which is a blatant lie since all women always instinctively hate each other, especially when they’re more attractive.

Deb and Gabriel go somewhere that involves “conversation” and she carries on about how awesome another man is. I’ve been on those types of dates in the past and they are real lame. Deb’s lucky she made it out with all of her teeth still in place.

I thought it was pretty lazy how they had Dexter get out of being filmed by the surveillance cameras. Pulling a fire alarm? That's the only time I was convinced this show was written by 8th graders.

Later on when Rita and Dex go to his house to get it on, Lila calls and proceeds to directly refer to every single thing Dexter has hidden from Rita. It seemed to be on purpose too. I was more shocked to see that someone still had an actual answering machine in 2007. Time to switch to voicemail, Dex. Anyway, Rita freaked and broke up with him.

WHY WON’T DOAKES JUST GO AWAY? After he finally quit tailing Dex, he has now switched to snooping through his office whenever he gets the chance. Is there any way Dexter can kill Doakes and remain true to the “code”? He’s not a criminal (…that we know of yet) but Dexter can’t let his cover get blown either. After being forced to leave work, the now single Dexter heatedly runs to Lila and they have sexual intercourse.

Dexter decides to make his copycat killer his victim this episode. If he doesn’t stop him, the BHB case will be given to the FBI, which is in no one’s best interest. I’m not a fan of the fact that Dexter realized that he could stop his urges if he wanted to; apparently Lila is effectively taming him.

It turns out that Lundy brought Dexter out to the crime scenes, not because he wanted to screw with Dex or was trying to hurt Deb’s tender feelings but because Masuka is ridiculously childish. I’d take Masuka over Mr. Cucumber Sandwich any day (overall cucumber references: 2). When Deb learns of this, they share an awkward hug, dripping of foreshadow-age of their future boning.

More woman drama when Rita wants to talk with Dex and let him tell his side of the story. Things were totally reasonable until Dexter took the classy option and admitted to having sex with Lila after Rita ended things. They were on a break! (Let the Friends references fly!) He could have lied about it and he would have been fine, but now this should keep Rita at a distance for a while.

But to be fair here, they were on a break.

Oh, and could Doakes be more of a stereotypical African-American??