I, like so many other people who cling to the nostalgia of childhood in a desperate attempt to shun adulthood, am looking forward to the new G.I. Joe movie. The Joes are springing back into action after a long absence (I don't count Sigma Six, because only a fool would count Sigma Six).

The anticipated film already has its detractors, based on the miniscule amount of information released about its pre-production. Chief among the derided reimagining is the fact that the team will be a global task force (G.I. Joe becomes G.I. J.O.E., the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity). Also booed was the Joes' new base of operations, which was to be in Brussels, Belgium. The producers of the film must have listened, because they moved the Joes' base to New York City.

But then what the hell am I supposed to do with this?