Frankly, they didn't fit anywhere else.

I have a two-part question: what is this university doing about my inability to count properly? That is all.
-Patrick Cassels
Technically True
- Half a stitch in time saves four and a half.
- There are 1,440 suckers born every day.
- Twenty-three and a half birds in the hand is worth forty-seven in the bush.
-Jeff Rubin
One Sided Debate
I mean, the egg came first. Where else would the chicken come from? Great, next question.
-Amir B.
Maybe it's me, but someone is typing this sentence.
-Streeter Seidell
Kiefer Sutherland Orders Chinese Food
"Hi, I'd like to make an order for delivery. One Egg Drop Soup and one Chicken Lo Mein. 728 Broadway, #4. Cash. Thanks very much."
-Sam Reich
Uncomfortable Things to Say at a Black Fraternity…
- "I hope I don't black out."
- "These black lights are giving me a headache."
- "I wish there weren't so many black people here."
-Tom Sunnergren
Advice for Seniors
Carry around a pair of extra sharp scissors. When someone says, “Hey, what are you doing after you graduate?” you say, “Hard time,” and puncture their appendix with the utmost fervor.
-Dan Gurewitch

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