Hey guys! Hopefully you're in a perpetual state of holiday bliss, either from the constant food or the booze. Or final exams! Perhaps a combo?
Regardless, here's a little celeb trash talk to bring you all that holiday cheer you've been desperately craving.

Donald Trump is clearly missing Rosie O'Donnell these days, cuz he recently tipped some waiter $10,000 for a meal. Sounds like he's hungry for…publicity. [DListed]

Britney Spears have given up on life so much that she's hiring a body double to pose for her flabby ass in photo shoots. She should try hiring a babysitter to stand in for her as a mom too! [DListed]

Eva Mendes would rather go naked than wear fur. You'd rather her go naked for you. Perhaps you should try dressing up as a ferret. [IDLYITW]

Because most of you are dudes, here are some videos of the Victoria's Secret fashion show. And because some of you are creepy, here's the worst picture of Amy Winehouse ever! [Egotastic, CelebSlam]

Unlike Britney, at least Amy is trying – to kill herself with drugs.

Jessica Simpson is now trying to find some self-worth in the arms of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. We wish her all the luck in the world, as well as all the ice cream she'll need to get over it when he dumps her to bone Cameron Diaz/Rachel Bilson/Lindsay Lohan. [IDLYITW]

Scarlett Johansjskdjkidjskeon is all pissed off at Us Weekly, after they hinted that she may have gotten a nose job. I'm all mad at ScarJo for being so rich and giving a shit about some dumb magazine. Also, it looks kinda sort different, right? Oh and, who gives a shit? [IDLYITW]

In the week's least shocking news, Jodi Foster has finally come out of the closet. Yay for gay rights, snooze for gossip bloggers. [CelebSlam]

Porn star Mary Cary is auctioning off her breast implants to the least grossed out, highest donor! If you win, it will be the only thing of your's that's been inside of her. Wah wah. [HollywoodTuna]

How desperate is Lindsay Lohan for cash? This desperate:

Finally, for the ladies, enjoy Kiefer Sutherland's naughty mug shot hotness. So what if he'd drive you around drunk? We like the reckless, selfish types. Hot! [WWTDD]