Girls, I understand that it may be difficult to come up with ideas for things to wear to Christmas parties. It’s tough to be the most creative, the best-dressed, and still keep the outfit consistent with the theme of the party. Don’t worry, though, there are plenty of ideas circulating around and help is on the way! Don’t know what to wear? Try one of these!

Sexy Santa: Duh! What could be more obvious than being a sexier, bustier version of the jolly fat man himself? Boys will love you and women will despise you, but who cares? You’ll get to hear the gentlemen bring out their best pickup lines like: “Hey, when can I sit on your lap?” and “So I’ve been naughty, but instead of coal, can I have a spanking?” Be careful though and stay away from the guys looking for their “presents” and from the jealous Jewish people who happen to be at the party—sorry guys, but the sexy rabbi doesn’t cut it.

Sexy Elf: Talk about hot! You’ll be the hit of the party with this costume, there’s no question. You might not get the best pickup lines in the house, but single men seem to flock to women in this costume. Don’t be bothered by the questions about Middle Earth. You look great, just be proud!

Sexy Reindeer: Sure, it’s out there, but being unique has its upsides. The requests for reindeer rides should flatter you, but be selective. Some guys may try a few reindeer games that you don’t like (what’s “bestiality” mean anyways?). Just make sure to keep one hoof over your drink at all times and you’ll have a blast!

Sexy Christmas Tree: So maybe your body is lacking in the attractive department. But funny is sexy, right? I mean, that’s why men fantasize about Rosanne Barr. Chances are with no armholes you’ll get groped a few times, but you shouldn’t be complaining—you haven’t gotten laid in months! Just make sure that you don’t become the party’s punching bag and you too can have a great time!