Dear Santa,

It's about that time Santa.That?s right, I hope your elves have beenslaving extra hard this year because I?ve been rocking the good deeds list likeRambo on a roid rage.So listen up youHolly Jolly hunk of holiday fluff.All Iwant this year is a Batman utility belt jock-strap-esque suppressed Glock gunbelt with grenade accessible, multi-clip carrying capabilities.You let me down last year with the StingerMissiles but I got over it.I evenspared that 10 year old his left patella remember?Now I know we?ve had some rough patches andreally hope you liked the ATV I sent you.It?s not Datsun, or Blixen or whatever the hell that damn moose?s nameis but dammit man if you let them rampage around my complex like that, they aregoing to get sniped, no questions. OK?

Anyways, Little Timmy?s got trenchfoot again so I would suggest better boots for him and the rest of the kids arerunning out of psychedelics, the Cubans can?t keep up so maybe the elves canpick up the slack.We?re hurting downhere Big Man.Chief?s breathing down my neck and we justneed something with a little extra oomf.So treat us to something good and we won?t flak you this year I swear.Take care, slip the Mrs. A surprise one forme and radio in for landing coordinates for your touch and go.

Sincerely,
Joe