Jeff Probst: Now, remaining survivors, in our next challenge you will have 4 minutes to eat 1 pound of cow testicles.
Annoying bitch that is always on show: Jeff you said if a slept with you I wouldn't have to eat enything nasty!
JP: Jack Daniels makes me say a lot of things bitch. Now bring out the testicles
(Festering pile of insect covered cow testicles is wheeled in)
Bear Grylls: Oh, these look ripe, feel how supple the flesh is!
JP: Could you just put those down the challenge hasnt begun yet.
BG:(Points to cow sack) See this muscle its got lots of vitamin C and D in it, out hear this should be useful.
JP: Out where? We're on a closed set.
BG: This tender cartilage right hear has a lot of protein, and protein means energy, means you can keep moving.
Annoying bitch: Why would we need to keep moving?
BG: This fat right here has a lot of oils and I could use it later to start a fire.
JP: Why the fuck would you need to start a fire?
BG:(pulls out hunting knife) I'm just gonna cut some fat off incase I need it later.
JP: Why would you possibly need testicle fat, you crazy british prick?
BG: Testicles can be a vital resource it you are lost out in the wilderness. I recently heard a story of a man lost in the panamanian rain forest who survived for three day by sucking on cow testicles.
JP: Does anything you say make any sense at all?
BG: Cow testicles can be a little ropey, so I am gonna cut some slits in the scrotum. Now I am just gonna swallow these nuts. Oh! They're cold and slimy. You can really taste the juices pooring out of these testicles. Oh! You just have to let it slither down your throat slowly.
JP: Do you have to desribe every part of how it tastes?
BG: All right i got it down Now who's ready for seconds?
JP: Get the hell off my set!
BG: Please I have no where else to go.