Just answer the questions below to see if you're going to heaven when you die, or if you'll spend eternity somewhere that smells like farts!
0 3 points: Yup, you're going to Heaven. It's going to be all clouds and harps just like you imagined. You're going to stare God right in the face and it's going to be the most beautiful and sincere event of your existence. Only the first time, though. After you get to know God it won't be that exciting, especially after he's comfortable enough to fart in front of you.
4 7 points: You are going to Albuquerque, New Mexico when you die. You're going to be reincarnated and that's where it's going to happen. Your next life will take an exciting turn when you make it into an episode of Cops. Not that exciting though, because you're going to be resurrected as a tree. You're going to be a tree in the background in an episode of Cops.
8 9 points: You're going to the Virgin Islands when you die. Due to a botched voodoo curse, your corpse will dance in the direction of buried treasure whenever music is played. Your friends will use you to find that treasure and have all sorts of wacky adventures and mishaps along the way.
10 13 points: When you die you're going to be buried underground. That's it. No special afterlife or anything, just your body under dirt with bugs and worms. Be proud, the soil around your corpse will be much richer for it.
14 17 points: You're going to hell when you die. I'm sorry. When you first get their you'll be smelting baby seals at the seal factory, and if you're really good at that they'll promote you to something even worse.
18 points: Verse 9:69 from the book of Bro, "And any of mine sons that perish while held by thine ankles above an ale cask shall be granted 80 hos without any garb to cover their supple bossom. A minstrel by the name of Jack Johnson will serenade my son while he drinks fine ale and sodomizes his hos for all eternity."