Hello old friends. Did you catch the lunar eclipse the other night up in the sky? The moon looked huge! In case you missed it, allow Kim Kardashian's butt to demonstrate what it kind of looked like. [IDLYITW]

Christina Aguilera appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, and Ellen went right for the jugular – or rather, her jugs. [Egotastic]

This week Lindsay Lohan showed off her bad Marilyn Monroe impression, her great boobies and her freckle collection (we're talking NAKED PICS!!!). What is she famous for again? [DListed]

Britney Spears is still crazy – about flashing her vag. It's nice that on the year anniversary of her head-shaving, she shaved down below instead. [WWTDD]

Jessica Simpson's shit-box of a movie, Blonde Ambition, made less than $2000 in the US after opening only in Texan theaters. But never fear, it's currently the number one movie in the Ukraine! Somewhere Nick Lachey is fondling Vanessa Minnillo's boob and laughing. [CelebSlam]

I talk about Heidi and Spencer from The Hills every week, I know, but it's because I'm addicted to hating them like Britney is to guzzling Starbucks. They are apparently putting out a video game starring themselves. Why am I even still talking about these assholes? [CelebSlam]

Gene Simmons, the old man singer of the band KISS, has made a sex tape! Finally, a celeb fuck-fest even your parents will love. [CelebSlam]

Paris Hilton celebrated her birthday this by dressing like a total skank and spreading her legs in a champagne glass. She's a present to herself! [Egotastic]

Scarlett Johansson & Natalie Portman look good together. Like really good. L Word good. Hint, hint ladies. [Egotastic]

Jessica Alba scares herself. Us too – who knew a hot actress's personality could be so frightening? [HollywoodTuna]

KTHXBAI!
- Kate