Ethan: I never thought I'd say this, but what a day to be Aaron Rodgers! Will there even be an NFL for him to play in, though? I was under the impression that Favre was the entire league.
Amir: Who do you think is sadder? Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Doug Pederson, Sportscenter, Wrangler Jeans, Bart Starr or the people of Green Bay, Wisconsin?
Ethan: John Madden. He's wiping his tears away with a fat steak at an Outback somewhere. It's like a greasy, bloody handkerchief for him.
Ethan: It's exciting to finally find out if Aaron Rodgers is any good, though. All of his fellow Jeff Tedford students have been so good in the NFL; I think he could at least be the next Akili Smith. Maybe even the next Joey Harrington. Can the Pack win next year?
Amir: Sure. Just not the Superbowl.
Ethan: Like most real fans, I'm only concerned with the preseason.
Amir: Best case scenario for the Pack: they have a Ben Roethlisberger situation on their hands with a capable quarterback who just has to not screw up and ride the defense to a Superbowl win. Or as analysts call it, "Managing the game."
Ethan: Hey, that "capable quarterback" is apparently worth $102 million now. Something tells me this isn't the year Brian St. Pierre takes the Steelers' starting job, either. Have the Jets contact you for a free agent contract yet? They've signed everyone else in the country.
Amir: Can Alan Faneca play quarterback? If not then I don't think it really matters who the Jets signed. I'm more concerned with people leaving the Patriots. Asante Samuel said he signed with Philly because he wanted to be in a situation that allowed him to win.
Ethan: Javon Walker signed with the Raiders because he wanted to be in a situation that didn't allow him to win.
Amir: When there are no expectations, you can't fail!
Ethan: I'm excited for the Bears' Grossman-to-Marty-Booker passing attack. We might see a 2-0 game in Chicago next year. Alright, on to basketball: I'm just going to ask you if you know what state Drake is in
Amir: I'll guess North Carolina because it sounds like "Duke"
Ethan: Close: it's in Iowa. They're actually 15th in RPI and score a ton of points; they're tenth in the country in offensive efficiency. Plus, according to Wikipedia, a drake is also a male duck, an artificial bait used in fly fishing, and a dragon in Middle English. Now that's a tournament resume.
Amir: This is why I love having you in my office pool, you're a classic over-preparer. You're no match for people like me.
Ethan: Who's that? Guy who doesn't watch college basketball until the second week of March? Yeah, you're a real threat to us all. Right up there with "Girl who fills it out as quickly as she can so the creepy guy running the pool will leave her desk."
Amir: Why does that girl always win?
Ethan: She knew a guy in middle school named "George Mason." It just seemed like fate. You think the top four seeds will hold the way they're looking now? UNC, Memphis, UCLA, Tennessee?
Amir: I think Kansas is too good to be a 2-seed, but I don't know who drops out. Maybe Memphis based on strength of schedule.
Ethan: That would make sense if Memphis didn't have a better strength of schedule than both Kansas and UCLA. Other than that, your argument's airtight.
Amir: If I get around to it, I'm gonna edit myself to seem smarter.
Ethan: Don't you wish colleges could trade players like NBA teams? The deadline deals are working out so well there.
Amir: Don't you wish NBA superstars left the league after a year like in college?
Ethan: You get that Rookie of the Year trophy, you leave on a high note. We'd still be talking about Damon Stoudamire if he'd done that.
Amir: I guess we're talking about him right now, but not very positively.
Ethan: Remember when Dallas fans were excited about trading for Jason Kidd? That seems so long ago.
Amir: Maybe the Mavericks just want to be that 8-seed this year, upsetting the big dogs. Is it time to stop regarding them and the Suns as top tier teams in the west?
Ethan: Seems weird, but yes. Unless someone gives Shaq a Segway to use on the court. Then I think they could hang with the good teams in the West. Don't worry, Suns fans, he's only under contract for two more years!
Amir: Shaq was 1-5 from the field yesterday. 1-5! That's one made basket for every $20 million the Suns owe him.
Ethan: And that's just for next season. He did have 13 boards, though. And the game before, he was a powerhouse 8 points, 7 boards. Say hello to the poor man's Sam Dalembert!
Ethan: You're getting pretty smug about your Lakers, aren't you?
Amir: What's there to be smug about? Just because we've won 12 of 13 since Pau came on board, have the most home games left than any other team in the NBA, and are still awaiting the return of our third best player? Question, where's the best place to see the parade in June? I wanna be close to the action.
Ethan: If Mark Madsen's not dancing, it's not really a Lakers' victory parade. LA sports could be on the upswing, so thank God there's no football team.
Amir: Tell that to Pete Carroll.
Ethan: I saw Clayton Kershaw pitch for the Dodgers last night, and although he gave up a homer, he also struck out three in his inning. His stuff is fast, and it moves a lot. He's going to be sick. Also, Andruw Jones is now bigger than the dorm room I lived in my freshman year. And not in a good way, either. Got an interesting fact?
Amir: Chris Paul has 11 steals in his last three games. In fact, he's had at least one steal in every game this season, and 60 dating back to last year. That's the longest active streak in ANY sport!Mainly because there aren't steals in any other sport. I guess baseball, but that doesn't count.
Ethan: And now he's stolen our hearts. (sigh)
Amir: Even Deron Williams' mom.
Ethan: Until next week, get excited for the AFL's Week 2!
Amir and Ethan also run StraightCashHomey.net. Obviously.