1) Even if you have hardcore, physical evidence to support your crazy supernatural claims, it will somehow disappear before your biggest naysayer gets to see it.

2) Old ladies hate crazy preacher ladies and will display that hatred by chucking cans of peas at them! HARDCORE!

3) If you have a friend who has been burned so bad that he wants you to kill him, do it. Trying to save him makes things like a bajillion times worse.

4) Crazy cross-dimensional spiders come in various sizes! How fun!

And finally, SPOILER ALERT!

5) You should wait until you actually SEE some monsters before you put all of your friends and son out of their soon-to-be-miseries. That's just common sense.