It just came out that Elliot Spitzer, Governor of New York, was involved in a prostitution ring. Here is a summary of some of his excuses.

1.    What is your definition of "is" "what" and "Prostitution"?
2.    The Donkey was there when I got into the room.
3.    Ha, you think you got me, but I'm the Governor, so I will just legalize prostitution. Suck on that you commies!
4.    Clinton did it.
5.    Have you seen my wife? I mean throw a guy a bone here.
6.    I did not pay that woman for sex, I gave a donation to her to help her get through college, if it so happened that she was so grateful for that $1000 donation that she had sex with me for exactly one hour, how is that my fault?
7.    Clinton did it.
8.    Bro, chill. Seriously, chill out, why are you being like this? You really aren't being cool. No, you aren't, and in all seriousness, you are really bringing this whole party down with your "laws."
9.    Have you heard of mind control?
10.    This is what happened, I was walking around, I tripprd, my pants went flying off, $1000 dollars came flying out of my pockets, and I fell on top of this woman. I woke up one hour later, and the next thing I knew we had had sex.
11.    Did I mention Clinton did it.