Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
March 28, 2008
Theodore, HS Senior
Ted, College Senior
I reek, I haven't showered since yesterday morning.
Dude, I reek! Check me out!
If I finish all my homework, I'll knock out a few hours of Playstation.
When I finish this level, I'll knock out an hour of homework.
I can't go to Tom's until I eat dinner. My mom doesn't trust his mom's cooking.
I'm not going to Sig Ep till I'm wasted. They always run out before I get there.
At prom, I think Tiffany and I are going to you know!
So I fingered Tiffany for sure at Sig Ep last night, but besides that I don't know.
I got pulled over for speeding on the way to the prom.
The cops chased me down and tackled me after they broke up the party.
I got my first traffic ticket yesterday.
I spent my first night in jail last night.
My dad's friend is a recruiter at Loyola, so I've got a really good chance at getting in there.
My dad's friend is a lawyer, so I've got a really good chance at getting out of here.
I got into Loyola!
Turns out my dad's friend isn't such a great lawyer
I'm rooming with my friend, Kevin, and Tiffany's going there, too!
I'm going to be going away for a while.
I think I'm going to be a Biology major.
Look, could you hold a couple of things for me? Just grab, like, everything in my top drawer.
I can't wait for September!
I love you, Tiffany. Wait for me?
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.