Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's confession time, and it's been a while for some of you. Here's a few of the best and worse from around the globe. Send your Famous Roommate Confession to FamousRoommateConfessions@gmail.com and remember, he's not allowed to get mad if he already put on the socks.

My roommate sophomore year at art school was a huge tool. He was always getting into crazy arguments about art with his friend Paul, which always killed the party. So one night when he passed out plastered drunk on the kitchen floor after one of these arguments. I went to go grab some bread and cheese and accidentally knocked the knife off the counter, which fell right on his ear a cut a huge chunk off, but he was so drunk he didn't wake up. In the morning when he woke up he started freaking out, but we convinced him that he had done it to himself in order prove some stupid point and he actually believed the story. I moved out after he gave the piece of ear to some prostitute though. Things just got too weird.
Pierre, Art Institute of Arles

So my roommate a few years was so high and mighty, always walking around like he was the king of kings. He also had the most annoying girlfriend, who was a total whore. Whenever she would come over he would steal all my bottled water and turn it into wine, then they would pass out while listening to gospel music on full blast. So that spring I found out that the police were looking for him, something to do with taxes and impersonating a king, so I told them where to find him. After they came and got him I never really saw him again, except for 3 days later I could have sworn I saw him talking to Mary.
Judas, University of Jerusalem

I used to live with this guy named John who was in the same theater company as me. He was an okay guy, except when it came to the topic of slavery and the confederacy. Like whenever we partied he would go on and on about how the Union guys are all fags that sit around all day blowing each other and that it was "Secession or bust!" One night he was really messed up, so a bunch of us players decided it would be funny to make him think we were all going to conspire to kill the president, since he was planning to come to a show at Ford's Theatre, where we all worked. He was so stoked that we "finally saw it his way!" So the next day we're all "ready to go shoot the president" and we even told him we'd have a "getaway horse" outside for him after he did it. So the whole ordeal unfolds and my roommate ends up getting chased into the next state and shot in the neck and dies. Haha I guess my mom was right all along, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Oh well, dude was a douchebag anyways.
David Herold, School not given

We had this roommate Joan when we were studying abroad in France who was ridiculously butch. She was so bad that she would scare away all the guys we brought back to the apartment. So we started to sneak into her room at night and pretend to be god talking to her in her dreams and leaving little post-it notes with messages to her signed from god. The stupid bitch actually started to believe god was talking to her and that she was the savior of the country. Her parents took her out of school after she started to demand audiences with the king. Last thing I heard she had gone off and joined the army or something.
Brittney, SUNY Albany

Everyone thinks my roommate is buried under Giants Stadium, when we actually left him in a dumpster behind a Chili's in Chattanooga. Idiots.
Anonymous, Teamsters University



Big thanks to Katie and Adam for their contributions