(A college student, Kevin, is sitting in his dorm room looking up Gonorrhea on the internet, when his roommate Mick walks in without him hearing)

Mick: (entering room) Hey dude, I got pizza bagels — … whoa, what the hell are you looking at?!

Kevin: Oh man, didn't hear you come in. Ever hear of knocking, you dick?

Mick: (approaching Kevin's computer) This is my room too, man. I have a key. Seriously, what was that I saw on your screen? It looked nasty.

Kevin: (trying to close the webpage, but not able to) Oh you know, just school shit, research, you know how it is. So we goin' drinking tonight?

Mick: K hang on, I swear I saw some guy's ass on your screen, what is this? (Forcing Kevin off the computer) …Gonorrhea? Dude, you're in Marketing, what class would you have to research this for?!

Kevin: Um… Finances?

Mick: (blank stare)

Kevin: Okay, alright… so it's not for school.

Mick: So what then, you have Gonorrhea? What the fuck, man?!

Kevin: I'm not 100% sure. From the info on that site, it says that symptoms are fever, vomiting, inflammation of the member, urinating pus discharge and- I mean I haven't felt sick or thrown up yet- so that has to mean something, right?

Mick: Yeah, it means you're an idiot. You have Gonorrhea. (takes a step back) Who did you even get it from?

Kevin: You know that cute red head, Kelly from down the hall? Yeah, totally mounted that beast. (Motions for fist pounding) Bones. Pound it.

Mick: Don't touch me. This isn't good, man; you should go see a doctor or something. What if your dick falls off?

Kevin: I was hoping it will be like a cold, and it would just go away after a week or so.. . I dunno, I didn't get a chance to finish reading Wikipedia (raises voice) since you rudely walked in on me!

Mick: Like I already said, this is my room too, numbnuts. Hehe, I guess that goes literally now.

Kevin: Not funny.

Mick: This explains a lot. So this is why I heard you crying in the bathroom this morning.

Kevin: Yeah, so what? My Johnson looks like Don Rickles smiling. I think I have a legit reason to shed a few tears.

Mick: Ugh dude, gross.

Kevin: Let's just keep this on the down low for now, okay? Don't tell anyone.

Mick: Fine. I'll try not to. This is pretty much gold though.

Kevin: And do you think you could do me a quick favor? Kinda weird…

Mick: Uh…What?

Kevin: Um, you know why it's called the clap, right?

Mick: Yeah…and?

Kevin: Do you think you could –

Mick: No, absolutely not . Clap it yourself.

(There's an awkward silence for a brief moment, while Kevin looks at the floor embarrassed, Mick, disgusted)


Kevin: So we goin' drinking tonight, or not?