Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
A Sim Checking In...
April 4, 2008
It's been a while, yeah? 7 years I think. 7 years since you last looked at my life. No hard feelings man, I learned English, that's a plus. No more with the pah flah bah attah mah shwah ah.
Oh! Other good news, I learned free will. That was a plus. For the first six months of your hiatus, I was just standing in my living room doing nothing. You wouldn't believe how many times I soiled myself.
Things with the wife are getting a little sh*tty, unfortunately. She's not putting out so I'm now forced to enter Move_Objects_On into the cheat box, move her out of the blurred area and just watch her naked. I'm starting to feel a little guilty. I think that's why you stopped, too.
I don't think I told you, I bought the house up at the top of the hill, passed the house
with the brook going through the yard.
On a more serious note, remember my child? He passed away. He got a virus from the guinea pig cage. It was his fault though, hedidn't clean it. I hear it's becoming an epidemic in this town. The ghost version of him is nice, sometimes he cooks us dinner.
I've given up on the whole job thing. The boss fired me after I moved the carpool van into a 6X6 room I made. I think the driver actually died in it Whatevs, I learned the rosebud ;;;;;;;;;;;;; cheat. I'm rolling in the Simoleons, literally. I built a room just for my Simoleons so I can wallow in it.
If you're ever around, man, just load up the game. Maybe you take away my wife's free will and let her starve to death. I'll have the whore next door move in, although she's a real simoleondigger.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.