It's hard to believe how important coins are in human civilization, but they are still around to this day after thousands of years, so there must be something to them.  In the United States the most popular coin I believe, because it is my favorite, is the quarter. 

The quarter is so important because it serves so many purposes.  How else would we use  vending machines, decide betwee
n two options, or determine when we should take a shot?  Whatever metal quarters are made of, which I don't know or care to know, is more precious and is better put to use than all the steel that forms our buildings, medical equipment, and stripper poles combined. 

We don't realize how valuable our quarters are until they are put in jeopardy.  There is nothing worse in this world than buying something with cash and the total ends in .76.  The best thing you can hope for getting back in change is two dimes and four pennies, the most useless assortment of coins in history.  Granted it would be easier to pay with three quarters and a penny but why would you give up your quarters just to make someone's day a little easier?  I say fuck that, those are your quarters, if anyone should give up quarters it is the store you're buying from.  They probably have thousands of quarters, and there you are with only two or three if you're lucky.  And sooner rather than later you're going to be in the position where you will be at a party, a coke machine, or find yourself with a lottery scratch-off in your hand.  What are you going to use if you give away all your quarters?  A nickel?  Screw that, your time is more precious than to be spent putting in pounds of nickels into a machine or scratching off your ticket with that dull and fat ass edge. 



So take back and embrace the power of the all-mighty quarter!  All the rest is just chump-change.  Ah thank you.