GF: Baby look there's a caricature artist! Do you wanna get one done?

BF:
Oh, I don't know sweetie…

GF: Please?? It'll be so much fun, I promise. I'll watch from the other side, mkay?

BF: …You don't wanna be in it too?

GF: Oh, no. I'm much too sensitive about my looks.

BF: OK…

Artist: Are you ready, sir? I need you to stay kind of still…

FIVE MINUTES LATER

GF: Ohmygod, haaahahaha!!

BF: What is it?

Artist: Sir? Hold still please?

GF: Nothing baby, it's just… he nailed your forehead. I mean NAILED it. Hahaha wait — is that a drive-in movie being projected onto it? Oh that's classic.

Artist: (Smiling) Yeah, ya like that?

GF: Nice touch. Baby this is hilarious.

BF: Heh. Yeah, the forehead. I get it from my mother's side, I guess. Hey, baby?

Artist: Sir. Please.

BF: Of course. Sorry.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

GF: AAAAAHAHAHA! OMG, ELL. OH. ELL. He is absolutely killing me over here! Dude, you are seriously, like, an ar-teest. This practically doesn't even qualify as a caricature, it's so realistic. Look at that chin! It's almost phallic!

BF: (Squirming) Really? I don't even think I have a big chin though—

Artist: SIR! STILLNESS! NOW!!

BF: (Eyes well up.)

FIVE MINUTES LATER

GF: HAHAHA oh that's perfect. Now… I dunno. Is there some way you could draw, like, a really small penis on him? We're talking, like, microscopic.

BF: Baby please no.

Artist: God DAMN IT MAN so help me I will leap over this easel and rip your f**king THROAT OUT if you DON'T. STOP. MOVING!

GF: (Doubled over) BAAAAAHAHAHAHA, this is too funny. Baby, you're holding, like, a big-ass magnifying glass over your junk, and it's STILL TINY! Holy crap, this is going on my wall TODAY. It could hang in a museum, even. Hah, maybe I'll call one, you know? Baby?