1. A substance-abusing hotshot must still be a good actor to portray a substance-abusing hotshot.

2. From now on, ride with Rhodey.

3. It is much simpler to build a supercharged battery/electromagnet that fits in a permanent hole in your chest cavity than it is to schedule a heart surgery.

4. Fire-extinguishing robots are needy and insecure.

5. It will only take me a few minutes to fly from California to Afghanistan, because the truth is, I am Iron Man.

6. Jeff Bridges will shave his head and murder you if he has to.

7. Should I strap on the additional super-suit and help my friend fight his power-hungry nemesis who stole his heart-battery to power an iron suit the size of a school bus? Nah. Next time, baby. Next time.

8. Gwyneth Paltrow would sooner name her child after a fruit than make out with Robert Downey, Jr.