Master Chief: It's been really tough lately. My guy logged about 80 hours of game time this week. Went from a level 30 to a 32 so that's pretty cool, I guess. It would be nice to get a little bit of a break though. Just trying to avoid another nervous breakdown.
Mario: Oh man here we go again
Luigi (under his breath): Shut up, dude.
Leader: You will have your chance Mario. Let him finish.
Master Chief: There is no way you can understand what it's like you only get played by little kids or high college guys at three o'clock in the morning, . You just can't imagine the stress that comes with a twelve hour session of Team Slayer. He never stops playing. His mom brings him all his meals in the basement. He does not work, he does not sleep, and now he wants his parents to put a new bathroom in the basement. I am just so tired.
Mario (laughs): What a bitch.
Master Chief: You're such a jerk. I don't understand why you come to these meetings if you can't be at least a little sensitive. I have seen the new Mario Kart
Mario: Yeah, whatever.
Leader: No, no this is good. It is important for us to release our emotions and be able to share them with each other. Thank you for sharing Master Chief. But let's move on. Sonic, you are being awfully quiet over there. What's new with you this week?
Sonic (sighs): Nothing new to report.
Sonic: No words can explain the passion with which I hate you. If I had one wish it would be that the Mushroom Kingdom be plagued by an incurable strain of the Ebola Virus, ravaging every man, woman, and mushroom in that God forsaken hell hole.
Suddenly the door swings open and WordMuncher (small green monster) walks in the door.
Word Muncher: Is this Over Eaters Anonymous?
Leader: No, that is down the hall in room 103 Number Muncher.
Word Muncher: Why does everyone get me confused with that guy? He can't even read!
Mario (under his breath): What the hell is that thing?
Leader: I'm sorry you just look so much alike.
Word Muncher: You know what? Screw you, and screw this place. I'm gonna go stuff my face with some adjectives.
Word muncher leaves the room
Leader: Ok well moving on. Luigi I know you had mentioned to me earlier in the week you had something important you wanted to bring up.
Mario: What, really?
Leader: Please Mario, let him speak.
Luigi: I'm just saying I sort of want to create a name for myself, on my own. I just can't seem to get away from being Mario's "wussy" little brother.
Luigi: Have you ever played "Luigi's Mansion"?
Mario: Honestly .no.
Luigi: See what I mean? I worked really hard on that, and my own brother didn't even bother to play it.
Mario: Look I'm sorry.
Luigi: You know how much you hate doing ghost levels?
Mario: Well yeah, that's true. They're just too much work.
Luigi: This game is one giant ghost level. The whole thing is basically me walking around with a fruity little vacuum cleaner, getting the bejesus scared out of me by a bunch of psycho spirits.
Mario: Ha ha that sucks man I know you get scared really easily.
Luigi: No I do not! I don't know why the creators decided to make it sound like I am about to crap my pants every time I jump a pit or encounter a goomba, but its simply not a just representation. I mean seriously, do you realize that everyone thinks I'm gay?
Mario: Wait, you're not?
Luigi: You too!?!?
Mario: Its just Daisy was talking to Peach about how you still haven't tried anything with her and we all just sort of assumed you were well you know.
Luigi: Just because, unlike you, I actually respect women, does not mean I'm gay!
Mario: Ok fine, but still I don't think it's so bad being a huge part of the greatest video game series of all time and
Sonic: Whoa! Wait a minute. Who said Mario was the greatest game of all time?
Mario: Are you being serious?
Sonic: My games for Sega were actually very popular during the 1990's.
Master Chief: I loved Tales! He was so cool.
Luigi: Yeah, and Sonic Spinball was also highly underrated.
Mario glares at Luigi with a look of the utmost disgust.
Mario: First of all traitor (pointing toward Luigi). And second Sonic you haven't been relevant since
Sonic: Don't say it
Leader: Please gentlemen, let's get back on track.
Mario: Sega Dreamcast.
Suddenly a flurry of gold rings explodes from Sonic's body. He jumps from his seat in an immediate attempt to recover them.
Leader: Sonic please sit down. I thought we worked on your obsession with these rings. They are not as you claim, the only things that keep you living.
Sonic mumbles inaudibly under his breath.
Leader: Now Mario, would you classify that comment as a "Warm Fuzzy" or a "Cold Prickly"?
Mario: Hey it's not my fault Sonic hasn't done anything this year except try to bandwagon on the Smash Bros. series.
Sonic collapses from his chair, and then disappears through the floor.
Luigi: See this is what I'm talking about. You're such a dick dude.
Mario: You would be nothing without me, and you know it.
Luigi: Yeah? Well good luck making new Mario Bros. games sans Luigi.
Mario: Oh don't worry I will. Have fun working on "Luigi Goes to Fire Island". It be should awesome.
Luigi: I hate you Mario Mario. I hate you.
Luigi runs from the room crying.
Mario: He will be fine. He did the same thing when he found out he was not going to be playable in "Mario Sunshine"
Leader: Ok well this has been about as unproductive a session as I could imagine. I guess I will see you all next week Oh yeah, and will someone go get Sonic from the basement. Last week he was down there for three days before the janitor found him.
Master Chief: Thank you so much for the session.
Mario: You are so lame.