With Barack Obama set to become the Democratic Presidential nominee,Hillary Clinton spent much of her day yesterday playing, believe it or not, pick up basketball with her staff. Though initially intended to be a fun way to relieve some stress after a busy and hectic campaign schedule, the games took an unexpected turn for the worse when Clinton refused to leave the court despite having been on the losing team in a 3 on 3 matchup.
Terry McAuliffe, chairman of Clinton's Presidential Campaign Committee was incensed. "3 on 3, first team to 11 wins, and losers walk. Those were the rules and everyone knows it." Everyone except for Hillary apparently.
With her team down 10-9, Clinton posted up and scored with a sweet and soft baby hook. With the game tied at 10-10, you could feel the intensity on the court. Even Bill Clinton,who was eating a hotdog and getting a blowjob in the stands at the time, put down his copy of the New York Times and watched intently.
Onthe next play, a Clinton staffer passed the ball to Hillary who slipped in her high heels and turned the ball over. One of her teamates, who wished to remain anonymous, was visibly pissed off. "Who the fuck wears blue high heel pumps when they play Basketball?"
McAuliffe andhis team now had possession of the ball. With the score tied 10-10,McAuliffe took the inbounds pass, crossed Clinton over, and drained a20 footer to give his team the victory.
But Clinton didn't get to where she is by giving up so easily.
Withthe game clearly over, Clinton refused to leave the court claiming that "you have to win by 2!" Even though that wasn't part of the rules, the other team gave in and decided to keep on playing.
8 minutes later, the teams were neck and neck in a 14-14 shootout. After anotherClinton turnover, McAuliffe once again found himself with an opportunity to make history. He passed the ball into the post, and the ball was passed right back to him. He then took a step back behind the 3-point line and launched a high-arcing rainbow that hit nothing but net. He dropped to the floor and raised his hands high into the air ashe lay there exasperated, breathing heavily. After a 45 minute slugfest, his team emerged victorious with a 16-14 win.
Or did they?
Once again, Clinton put a damper on the celebration and refused toleave the court. "The score is 15-14, we're not playing with 2's. Every shot is only worth 1 point." McAuliffe and his teamates pled with Clinton, pointing out that they always play with 2-pointers. Clinton dismissed their arguments, called the game a tie, and left the gym in an angry rush, dragging a pantless Bill Clinton behind her.