It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.
My roommate sophomore year would always eat my food, drink my beer, and leave his dirty clothes and shit all over our room. This went on for months even after I told him repeatedly to pick up his shit and replace my beer when he drank it. About every two weeks or so his girlfriend would come by and would gather up his clothes and wash them for him as a nice gesture. To get back at him for being such a douche bag I slipped what appeared to be a used condom into a pile of his clothes. He came back from class only to find all of his clothes were missing and his girlfriend had dumped him. He missed class for like a week because he was so heartbroken and he had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.
Anonymous, Michigan State University
I ate all the blueberries, and they were delicious.
Patric, School Not Given
My junior year I lived in a 4 bedroom suite with 7 other roommates. 4 of us were decent, respectful, normal human beings while the other 4 were the most disgusting, fat, slobs you've ever laid eyes on. One night while us "normals" were out at a party, the "fatties" had a party with a ton of their fatty friends. The guy I shared a bedroom with worked at PetCo and had a good sized aquarium with some pretty expensive fish in it in the common living room. Needless to say we came home and the fatties poured Jack Daniels into the fish tank and killed 300 dollars worth of fish. They never attempted to repay him or even apologize so we were forced to retaliate. We collected all the dead fish, put them in a bowl on the ledge right outside our window for a couple days to get them good and ripe and then distributed them in the fatty's bedrooms. Each fatty got one in his pillow case and one in his dresser drawer, hidden amongst the clothes. In the end the joke was on us because the fattys never even noticed the God awful smell coming from their bedrooms despite the fact that you could smell it from the hallway outside our apartment. We were forced to remove the fish but not before throwing away their beloved N64 Mario Kart.
Ricky, School Not Given
Last year a big group of us would go to at least one baseball game every week. We would always bring mini grills and make hot dogs and burgers during the game, it was a great time. Well we had about 4 grills going, and as the hot dogs got done, we would put then in buns with ketchup and just pass them down. I noticed a pretty fresh dog shit nearby, and decided to go for it. I covertly went over and picked it up with a bun, it was the exact same size as a hot dog, and was close to the same color. I made sure to put a good amount of ketchup on it to cover up the fact that it was clearly a piece of poo, and to mask the smell. I told a few of my buddies around me, and we watched as it got passed down the line. By sheer luck, it went to this one creepy guy, who would always try and hang out with us at the games. He took a massive bite of the dog. For a few seconds the look on his face was of sheer terror, then he spit it out and ran away screaming. We all fell to the ground laughing our asses off he never tried to hang out with us again.
Mike, Southwest Minnesota State
During my Freshman year, there was a group of 8 people on my floor with a really tight friendship. Our motto was "Abort and Reassess" if one of us was doing something he would regret (and we would love making fun of him for), generally one of us would drop him a quick, "AAR, dude". Now one of our boys, a conservative ROTC boy from the south, who we will refer to as "Daniel", would fuck anything with legs and a pulse. Anyway, one night, he's out with some friends, and the other 7 of us are hanging out in his room. His roommate gets a call from him, asking him to clear the room, and stay out of the hall. He informed us that he was doing a friend a favor, and thus bringing home a chick who might be a 2 on her wedding day. So naturally, we clear the room before "Daniel" gets in. However, we set up a Macbook on his roommate's bed and set up an iChat to a Macbook in the next room. We made sure to turn off the screen in their room, and hooked up the Macbook in the new room we were in to our friend's HDTV. We grabbed a few beers and sat back as we saw one of our best friend's fucking the absolute nastiest girl and of us had EVER SEEN. Once we closed the iChat link, the screen in the room with "Daniel" came on, and he figured out what was up. He didn't talk to us for a few days, but eventually came around and admitted it was funny as shit.
Chris M., Tulane University