The Smith Family's drive back home after losing at Family Feud:
Frank Smith: Well…that was fun!
Marcy Smith: Yea that wasn't too bad, It was nice to be on tv!
Jake Smith: Molly are you retarded?
Marcy Smith: Jake Smith Shush!
Jake Smith: I mean seriously molly when they asked you "What magazines read in the bathroom" you said "Cosmo", how does that make even the smallest amount of sense?
Molly: Shut Up! I just thought about all the gay guys that read it!
Jake: Yea and how many gay guys do they interview for Family Feud?
Frank Smith: Ok you too that is enough! Now we had a good time and made 600 dollars! I mean that's still something!
Molly: Besides Jake I thought guys read Cosmo, I mean you have like 6 under you bed…
Jake Smith: No I don't!
Molly: I wasn't sure they were Cosmos at first…the pages were kind of stuck together…
Jake Smith: SHUT UP.
Marcy Smith: Did you not just hear your father!? It wasn't anybody's fault we lost! We had a good time! I mean sure it didn't help that we couldn't steal the points in the final round but besides Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Men's Health and FHM what else do men read?
Jake Smith: Maxim
Frank Smith: …………….GQ
Marcy Smith: Frank! I'm trying to prove a point!
Frank Smith: I know I know but still it would've been nice to win that 20,000 dollars! I just got laid off!
Marcy Smith: YOU WHAT!?
Frank Smith: I got laid off…ever since gas went up to 4 dollars no one really wants to pay more for full service…
Marcy Smith: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?
Frank Smith: Because I thought we were gonna win that 20,000! I've watched that show everyday since I was 8 years old! I knew people who were interviewed for the show's polls! It should've been a breeze! Do you know how embarrassed I was when we got beat by that family from Minnesota? That wasn't even their actual son! That was just their daughters "friend". I had to find my alcoholic father to fill in the final slot for our team!
Jake Smith: Yea dad where is he?
Frank Smith: I gave him a bottle of Johnny Walker black label and told him to go to the bus station.
Jake Smith: I think he touched me…
Marcy Smith: I…I didn't know you felt so strongly for Family Feud. I thought you had that tattoo because you were drunk…
Frank Smith: WELL I DO…now…I just had to get that off my chest…(more relaxed) Now, Molly?
Molly:….yes dad?
Frank Smith: Can you tell me why I should let you stay in this family?
Marcy Smith: FRANK!?
Frank Smith: I mean you couldn't think of another fucking Men's magazine? With all those boys you bring home? And that one girlfriend who plays on the lacrosse team and shaves with a Mach 4?
Molly: ………….
Frank Smith pulls over to the side of the highway.
Frank Smith: Get out.
Molly: Dad ple-
Frank Smith: I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT.
Molly quickly gets out of the car.
Marcy Smith: FRANK WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Frank Smith: SHUT UP MARCY I'LL KICK YOU OUT TOO!!!
Marcy Smith:………..
Frank Smith: …..hahahahaha im just kidding…hahhahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Rest of family nervously laughs…
Frank Smith: You really thought I would kick you out of the car sweetie…hahahaha so ridiculous.
Molly starts getting back in the car.
Frank Smith: Oh I'm sorry I was talking to your Mom Molly, you still need to find a new family. Good luck!
Car quickly drives off.