Ethan: How about that British Open? Man, pretty golfy, right?
Ethan: Probably a bad sign for golf that the most compelling non-Tiger figure out there was what was left of Greg Norman. Still, give Harrington credit for winning his second straight Claret Jug.
Amir: I have no idea what any of that means.
Ethan I think it means that people would rather see Tiger Woods play Golden Tee then watch anybody else play real golf. What do you think would get better ratings?
Amir: I'd rather watch Tiger play one of those bar games where you try to shoot the deer with the plastic gun. He would stalk that buck with such quiet intensity.
Ethan: Does Jason Taylor put the Redskins on top of the NFC East?
Amir: No. It doesn't even put their defense on the top of the NFC East. Cowboys secondary is great, Eagles added Asante Samuel and the Redskins trade some picks to get Jason Taylor who publicly stated that this is his last year in the NFL. This is what they get for having one of Clinton Portis' characters in charge of player personnel.
Ethan: Are you kidding me? Kid Bro Sweets is like Drew Rosenhaus himself, except he likes Reese's Pieces more. The Redskins' D wasn't all that bad last year, but their offense was pretty stagnant. Maybe Jim Zorn can fix it, but I'm also sure he's already in last place on my list of NFL coaches. (I go alphabetically, not based on ability.)
Amir: Is it that time of year for us to rank every offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator in the NFL?!
Amir: Kay, just lemme know.
Ethan: What did you think of the Shockey trade? I thought the Saints were too much of a feel-good story the last couple of years; they needed a real asshole on the roster to make them seem more human.
Amir: I like that for New Orleans. Their offense is pretty awesome and their only weakness was that tight end by committee they had. And we all know who's boss in Giants land. Why it's current tight end Kevin Boss! What a coincidence!
Ethan: I just worry that New Yorkers will feel less patriotic without Shockey's right bicep. Who's going to remind them that these colors don't run? Plaxico Burress? Doubtful. And New Yorkers need something to smile about after the Phillies killed the Mets in the ninth last night.
Amir: Willie Randolph is smiling. He's a New Yorker, isn't he?
Ethan: I was worried when the Phillies traded some of their top prospects for a fat pitcher who hasn't been very good this year and never strikes anyone out, but after last night, man, I BELIEVE in Joe Blanton. Sure, he gave up five runs and 11 baserunners in six innings, but he must have inspired that awesome comeback. In other news, I think the Nats' front office is trying to get fired. How do they trade someone as tall and good as Jon Rauch for a minor league 2B who had a .685 OPS last season?
Amir: The Nationals, knowing their season is over, are now operating on a series of dares. DUH!
Ethan: "Bet you won't sign Cristian Guzman to a $12 million extension?" "Oh, yeah? We'll give him $16 million! Who's a pussy now?"
Amir: Ready for our mid-season minor league extravaganza?! Let's rank every prospect 1-1000!
Amir: Something about that Palace at Auburn Hills makes people wanna throw down.
Ethan: I was disappointed Laimbeer didn't get more involved. It makes it feel like all those hours I spent trying to beat Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball were wasted, like I was living a lie.
Amir: That's why I was playing Arch Rivals Female edition. You shoulda seen Candace Parker slip on that oil stain.
Ethan: I hope that Parker is just going to do whatever it takes to make the WNBA popular. Dunking, fighting, juggling a flaming chainsaw for a quarter at a time she's committed.
Ethan: Got an interesting fact for the week?
Amir: LeBron James and Wally Szczerbiak both named their kid Maximus.
Ethan: Even stranger, Sam Cassell and Vernon Maxwell both named their kids Commodus.Until next week, get excited for more WNBA throw-downs!
Amir and Ethan also run StraightCashHomey.net a random jersey blog. Do enjoy.