Whether you were out too late at O'Flannagans making out with that chick who totally looked like Jessica Alba, or Shark Week kept you up until your alarm went off, there are days when making it into work is simply not an option. If done properly, the hookie e-mail can be an art form. Here are some old examples I dug up in my inbox to help you brainstorm your own tactics.

Special thanks to Intern Extraordinaire Jake Klocksien!