Picture this: A massive earthquake rocks the Washington DC area. It would register 11.9 on the richter scale, if all the richter scales hadn't been smashed in the quake. It's so powerful that the tectonic plates below the surface don't just rub, but shatter. Magma pours out of the fissure and a volcano forms RIGHT BELOW THE WHITE HOUSE. It could erupt at any moment.

That's not all we've got to worry about. A massive alien space ship has just positioned itself above the White House and is charging its destructo beam. In just 30 minutes it will fire, incinerating every world leader in the world, who happened to be at an emergency meeting in the presidential conference room, if the volcano doesn't erupt first.

Hold on, there's more. An asteroid has just crashed into the Atlantic Ocean and a tidal wave filled with great white sharks is circling the globe, eating everything in its path.

As if that wasn't bad enough, a mysterious monster is playing soccer with the Statue of Liberty's head, trees are making people kill themselves, the dead are coming back to life, there are tornados made entirely of lightning and another asteroid is coming that will blow up the entire planet.

Scientists agree that we've only got one chance and it's up to Bruce Willis to save the human race.

Sounds like the most epic disaster movie of all time, right? Well, it doesn't exist. Yet. One day Michael Bay will agree to read my script. Until then, we'll all have to agree on a most epic disaster movie of all time, which is why Collegehumor scientists have invented the disaster movie match-up. Vote for your favorite in 1 on 1 street-basketball-style competition, and we'll reveal the winner on August 29th!

PS No, Norbit was a disaster of a movie, but it wasn't a disaster movie. It's not in there.