Happy belated Labor Day, everybody. Hope you all enjoyed your governmentally-sanctioned day off. Now maybe you won't notice how 30% or more of your pay goes to taxes. Just another victory for the common man!

Speaking of which, we currently have a legit MILF running for Vice President. Sure her retarded son might not be hers and her 17-year-old unwed daughter is knocked up, but hey, whose isn't? Plus, Tiny Fey can rest easy knowing a Lifetime movie role is coming her way in about 10 years. (DListed)

But enough of this politics stuff. Did you know Harry Potter lost his virginity on the set of the first Harry Potter movie to a crew member considerably older than him? No, not Richard Harris. Although that image plus this one starts to conjur up a pretty wild night. TALK ABOUT MAGICAL. (WWTDD)

This week David Duchovny checked into rehab for sex addiction. Apparently he decided that he spent an unhealthy amount of time looking at internet porn. While in rehab, he's also being treated for 'being a man' and 'breathing.' (IDLYITW)

Feathers are flying between Jessica Simpson (Tony Romo's current girlfriend) and Carrie Underwood (Tony Romo's ex-girlfriend). This week, Carrie called Jessica 'fat' on her US Weekly cover. What I don't get is, why are these chicks fighting over Romo? He looks like a total goon. Plus, he can't even hold the ball for a 19-yard field goal kick with 1:19 left in a 21-20 playoff game. I mean, come on. (WWTDD)

Sounds like Carrie Underwood has a thing for mediocre (at best) athletes. This week rumors started flying about an Underwood/Phelps relationship. Which certainly didn't stop Phelps from helping himself to hors d'oeuvres at a Playboy party. This guy is literally the king of the world. (WWTDD, DListed)

It's still summer, which means still more bikinis (Christina Ricci and US Olympic gymnasts Nastia and Shawn) and still more short dresses (Blake Lively). And if you're Keeley Hazell, still more boobs out. Not like that has anything to do with the seasons. (Egotastic, Hollywood Tuna)

This week we were treated to some amazing pictures of what appears to be Kevin Spacey pulling down a young man's pants and touching his bare buttocks as the youth lays across his lap. But I'm sure its not what it looks like. This could totally be a million other things. (CelebSlam)

Great news, guys. One year after she waddled around stage in her 'comeback performance,' Britney Spears is back and ready for the VMAs. In fact, this week she announced she'll be opening them. Which means whoever is in charge of ratings at MTV is about to get a promotion. (CelebSlam)

Madonna just does not give a shit. This week she boarded a commercial flight wearing nothing but a bathrobe. She's either cool as hell, or slowly becoming my senile grandmother. No Grandma Madonna, that's not a sandwich, thats just a piece of ham between two Gold Records. (WWTDD)

Now here's something awesome. This week we found out that Amy Winehouse's most recent overdose was a result of her consuming 'inhuman' amount of pot. INHUMAN. I used to be annoyed by Amy Winehouse, but now I'm just impressed. Until now, pot has notoriously been the one drug you can't overdose with. But by George she's done it. Next up she plans to drink so much water that she goes into a drug stupor. And don't tell her it can't be done. (CelebSlam)

Weird-Ass Couple of the Week: Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson. Apparently Pamela hasn't been paying attention to, oh, you know, MICHAEL JACKSON'S FACE. (IDLYITW)

And now, time for this week's 'Still Got It.' While Brandon Walsh's beard was certainly a surprising contender this week, I have to give it to Joan Rivers, who looks more and more like there's a vacuum attached to the back of her head every day. Congrats, Joan! (DListed, CelebSlam)