Unless you have been locked away in your trailer for the last three years, you are probably aware of the heated competition between the two Presidential candidates, John McCain and Barrack Obama. Depending on which news channel you watch, the candidates are neck and neck. If you are like me, and can barely stand reality TV, nonetheless, the real news, you may be feeling confused about the upcoming election. Maybe you are not sure who to vote for, or if you should vote at all. Now, I'm not a big corporate company or a major cable news network, so I don't have the know how to tell you who to vote for, but I can give you a preview of my decision process.
You see, as a male in my mid twenties and disillusioned to the petty politics in Washington, I only have one real factor that comes in to play when deciding who to vote for: is the candidate hot or not? Now, I don't find either McCain or Obama that attractive, which is one reason I voted for Hillary in the primaries, who at least looks better in a dress. What really matters is the hotness of the candidate's family and associates. Why do you think JFK beat Nixon? Have you ever seen Pat Nixon? While by no means butt ugly, she looks more like a 5th grade teacher than a MILF like Jackie O. John and Jackie were like the Brad and Angelina of the 60s. They were hot, and hot people are better at gaining power of the masses and persuading them into making thoughtless decisions (like watching either "Taking Lives" or "Meet Joe Black").
My decision this year, while perhaps uneducated and incredibly shallow, will be based solely on who has the hottest women associated with their campaign, either through family or political affiliates. If I'm going to have to stare at the same guy for the next 4 years, I want to make sure he has a visually pleasing backdrop. Presented before you is my argument for each candidate. I will present the hotness factors associated with both McCain and Obama, and then make a decision on who I think has the hottest campaign. Only in America!
First up, the McCain campaign:
No matter what side of the political sphere you lean towards, there is no denying that McCain has surrounded himself with some beautiful women. Working the same game as legends like Bob Barker and Hugh Hefner, McCain has obviously adopted the belief that the only way to make a large audience interested in an old geezer like himself is to be constantly surrounded by sexy women, which brings us to the first two examples: