So, did everybody watch the VMAs this week? No? Me neither. Cool. From what I've gathered, we didn't miss much. Except Britney Spears inexplicably wore two different dresses that were practically the same. Ah, to be rich and dumb. (Celebslam)

Now on to more important news – Kayne West got arrested, people! The rapper was charged with vandalism after grabbing a paparazzo's $10,000 camera in LAX and slamming it against the ground. In Kayne's defense, the paparazzo was totally not using red eye reduction. (IDLYITW)

This week Jessica Simpson was performing on Good Morning America when an unfortunate gust of wind turned her into Marilyn Monroe. Except, instead of white panties there were no panties and instead of a cute butt there was a weird granny butt. Sexy! (Egotastic)

This Friday, rapper Lil Wayne bailed on a scheduled performance because he refused to allow security to check his bag. I'm sure there was nothing shady in there or anything. Lil Wayne just wants his privacy respected. And his bag of guns. (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan might be getting married or something? Her unofficial girlfriend Sam Ronson announced this week that 'by the end of the year, my love will be Mrs. Ronson.' Gay or not, let's get real here – whoever gets to TF these things for all eternity is one lucky human. Mom, you're not reading this, right? (WWTDD, Egotastic, Hollywood Tuna)

Remember Juliana Margulies? She was on…she was on something. ER? Or one of those cop shows? Anyway, here are some weird pictures of her crotch. I kind of don't understand what's going on here. It's the like Chupacabra of vaginas. Is it real or not? (Egotastic)

Let's all take a moment to laugh at Diddy. Last week he posted a rant on YouTube about how the price of gas makes his private jet too expensive to fly. However, somebody did some research, and Diddy doesn't even own a jet. What a weird, easily disproven lie. Next he's going to start complaining about the weight of his solid gold leg. (WWTDD)

Hugh Hefner's girlfriend Holly Madison went out to lunch this week and seems to have forgotten her bra. Does this even count? I mean, she's a Playmate. You can see a better version of this anytime you want. It's like seeing pictures of Jenna Jameson boning her boyfriend. Bo-ring. (Hollywood Tuna)

Miley Cyrus is turning 16 soon, and in honor of that accomplishment this week she bought herself a $75,000 Mercedes. When I turned 16 I got my grandmother's used 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis. NOW who's cooler, Hannah Montana? (Celebslam)

Britney Spears' mom has a book coming out soon, in which she claims that Britney lost her virginity at age 14 to an 18 year old football player. She also includes a list of positions they tried and how many minutes were spent on each, as well as a sample of his pubes. (IDLYITW)

This week's Still Got It was, again, a tough one. For the first time I was tempted to give the award to both a dress (an aviary threw up on Solange Knowles) and a face (please accompany this picture with the sound Godzilla makes). But in the end, Pink's 'I'm-squeezing-one-out' pose reigned supreme. (DListed, IDLYITW)