I was editing a sketch when someone I'med me with a screen name of obvious ulterior motives. Jeff, Brandon, and myself decided to give this spammer a dose of their own medicine and a hilarious conversation ensued:

GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (7:41:43 AM): who's this?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:04:05 AM): who's this?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:12:49 AM): …who's this?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:13:42 AM): Jennifer you?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:13:49 AM): which jennifer?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:14:01 AM): is this spam?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:14:23 AM): you cant get charged hourly for instant messages can you?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:14:31 AM): i think i'm falling for you
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:14:37 AM): no
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:15:01 AM): what are you talking about?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:15:03 AM): who is this…?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:15:34 AM): Jennifer do I even know you?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:15:39 AM): i dont know you im'd me…
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:16:44 AM): you just were on my list and I didnt know who it was
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:17:11 AM): oh yea i put myself on a bunch of people's lists sorry about that
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:17:19 AM): www.boriscomedy.com
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:17:26 AM): you just got spammed!
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:17:38 AM): did I?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:18:06 AM): at least I got spammed by a hot guy
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:18:21 AM): you have no idea
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:19:10 AM): lol
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:19:20 AM): well so what do I do now that I've been spammed?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:19:32 AM): start with a cold shower
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:19:39 AM): dont eat aftger midnight
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:19:43 AM): after*
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:20:04 AM): 1. Go to a safe place as soon as you can.
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:20:24 AM): 2. Contact a close friend who can be with you until you feel safe again.
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:20:39 AM): ok
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:20:40 AM): 4. Get medical attention as soon as possible to make sure that you are physically okay.
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:21:11 AM): 5. Seeing a counselor to help you understand you feelings and begin the process of resolution and healing.
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:21:18 AM): Remember, spam is never your fault.
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:22:31 AM): lol ok funny guy
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:22:43 AM): 8 inch funny guy
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:23:07 AM): lol oh really?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:23:16 AM): wanna see pictures?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:23:27 AM): www.boriscomedy.com
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:23:37 AM): just kidding you just got spammed!
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:23:39 AM): again!
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:24:12 AM): no
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:24:15 AM): I didnt open it
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:24:17 AM): neither time
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:24:38 AM): ok, seriously… whats this about
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:25:00 AM): how much are they paying you?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:25:03 AM): cause i'll double it
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:27:38 AM): nothing
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:27:47 AM): I really dont know how your name appeared on my list
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:28:09 AM): ok i guess this is where we part our separate ways then
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:28:16 AM): i'm really gonna miss you
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:28:23 AM): one last kiss
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:28:30 AM): :S
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:28:33 AM): ok you are cute
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:28:36 AM): but pretty crazy
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:28:37 AM): so
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:28:34 AM): theres allways time for one last kiss
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:28:38 AM): yeah
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:28:59 AM): does the 18 in your screen name mean your 18 years old?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:29:13 AM): yes
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:29:23 AM): and does the chick mean you are a chick?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:29:44 AM): duh
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:30:32 AM): and does girly mean you have overly effeminate qualities in your physical demeanor and character?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:31:20 AM): means I'm a girly girl
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:31:39 AM): do you like bicicles?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (8:32:07 AM): like them ok
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:32:13 AM): do you use training wheels?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:33:38 AM): because i could never go out with a girl who still uses training wheels
borichkababa<..timestamp> (11:37:14 AM): so tell me about yourself
GirlySexyChick18 signed off at 11:40:26 AM.
GirlySexyChick18 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
GirlySexyChick18 signed on at 3:15:17 PM.
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:15:43 PM): what?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:16:14 PM): tell me about yourself
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:16:30 PM): what would you like to know?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:16:54 PM): anything ..
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:17:27 PM): well I'm 18 years old, live in Daytona Beach Fl got into UF going to be a freshman there this fall
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:17:29 PM): anything else?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:17:37 PM): do you believe in god?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:17:49 PM): yeah
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:17:48 PM): what about fate?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:18:17 PM): still undecided about fate… there would be no point to living if there was a fate for everything
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:18:29 PM): what about antidissestablishmentarianism?
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:18:56 PM): lol when I know more about it I can have a stand on it I'm sure
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:19:42 PM): k coo
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:19:51 PM): you pass the test
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:20:06 PM): lol what test?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:20:14 PM): the test to see if you are ready to visit www.boriscomedy.com
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:20:22 PM): YOU JUST GOT SPAMMED III
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:20:33 PM): lol
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:20:44 PM): Dont you need to actually open the link to get spammed?
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:20:47 PM): no
borichkababa<..timestamp> (3:20:53 PM): fuck you
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:21:01 PM): :S
GirlySexyChick18<..timestamp> (12:21:03 PM): ok bye
GirlySexyChick18 signed off at 4:26:28 PM.
GirlySexyChick18 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
GirlySexyChick18 signed on at 4:26:31 PM.
GirlySexyChick18 signed off at 4:36:22 PM.
GirlySexyChick18 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.