You guys, it's finally happening. The news you've been waiting for since 1994. This week it was announced that Ace of Base will be releasing a new album in 2009. That's right, Ace of Base is BACK. It's time to believe in miracles again. Your move, Real McCoy. (DListed)

And now on to relevant celebrities!

This week we were introduced to Amy Winehouse's latest and greatest invention – a cotton candy machine that she sprinkles cocaine in. And why not? Just because she's a crackhead doesn't mean she can't enjoy simple childhood pleasures. She also puts heroin in her Big League Chew. (WWTDD)

Mark Wahlberg was not amused by the Wahlberg impression Andy Samberg unveiled during last week's SNL, saying 'SNL hasn't been funny for a long time. I don't even know who's on the show now.' In other words, the impression was dead-on. (WWTDD)

Miley Cyrus announced plans this week to release her first autobiography. Is this girl serious? She's 15 years old. I think a good litmus test for autobiography eligibility is to see what chapter puberty falls in. If it's not in the first three chapters, give it a few more years. (DListed)

This week Madonna and Guy Ritchie announced their plans to divorce after 8 years of marriage. Which means A-Rod finally has to fess up to boning Madonna. (IDLYITW)

Tea Leoni and David Duchovny also confirmed this week that they are separating after 11 years of marriage. Despite Duchovny's issues with sex addiction, a source claims the split actually happened because Leoni was having an affair with Billy Bob Thornton. Note to all aspiring therapists: get your hands on the Leoni/Duchovny kids. (Celebslam, DListed)

Ready to feel suicidal? This week we found out the salaries of the girls from The Hills, and let's just say its offensive. Audrina, the flat-faced chick with big boobs, makes $35,000 an episode. But hey, I'm sure your job's cool too. Real estate accountant, right? Neat. (WWTDD, Hollywood Tuna)

I know I posted about this last week, but Salma Hayek's boobs are out of control. Here she is filming a cameo on 30 Rock, and those things are about to explode. It's like someone tried to fit Serena Williams' ass into a dress. shudder (Celebslam)

Britney Spears unveiled a new song and video this week called 'Womanizer.' Shockingly, she is legit hot in the video. Not shockingly, the song itself is pretty terrible. Also not shockingly, this in no way is going to stop you from watching it. (Hollywood Tuna)

So remember last week when I told you about 'Nailin Palin,' the Sarah Palin porno already in production? Well, here are some hilarious pictures of the star's, ahem, capital domes. She sure has the country's breast interests at heart. I could go on. (Egotastic)

Is anyone watching True Blood? If yes, you know that last week's episode featured Anna Paquin topless. If no, never fear, the internet is here! And they wonder why people don't watch TV anymore. (Egotastic)

This week, Holly Madison (Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend) finally gave reasons for their break-up, saying that she's looking for a more traditional relationship. More traditional than a 28 year old dating an 82 year old who also dates 3 other women? Good LUCK. (Celebslam)

Surprise, surprise – Angelina Jolie already has plans to adopt another baby. At this point I think it's fair to conclude she is building a baby army. There is no other explanation. She's training an army of babies. You've been warned. (WWTDD)

And last but not least, this week's Still Got It. This week yielded a ton of great nominees, from Paris' scary granny arms to Britney's werewolf pits to Meg Ryan's clownish grin. But as always, there can only be one winner, and this week it's Fergie. Double chin grey sideburn = magic. congrats, Fergie! You Still Got It. (Celebslam, IDLYITW, WWTDD, Hollywood Tuna)