If you've ever watched 24 (and thus consider yourself a complete person), then surely you've noticed that nifty little bag that Jack Bauer totes at his side as part of the uniform of satchel/boot cut jeans/all purpose hoody. 

Well my friends, as the show progresses I have noticed that that bag has nearly everything in it.  So i did some reasearch and got a list, from trusted sources, of what exactly Jack carries around in his sack.  and the list goes.

1.  A bitchin flashlight
2.  A second Flashlight, the kind that you have to shake to power up, just in case the bitchin flashlight goes out of bateries.
3.  Super badass PDA that can download files from Chloe instantaneously
4.  Zip Ties, for handcuffing people
5.  6 Trojan double Magnum condoms (xxl)
6.  a silencer
7.  Walkie Talkies
8.  Various earpieces for electronic devices,  he seems to be albe to provide one for any sudden ally he might aquire
9.  Several lock picking/security hacking devices
10.  2 16 ounce T-bone steaks, in case he comes across any security dogs who need to be distracted.
11.  A lock of Jennifer Anistons hair,  although Jen is my woman, I'd happily let JB take a 5 minute break from saving the world to make sure he's nice and sexed up with a beauty.
12.  at least 14 different knives, for killing/inflicting toture
13.  a tazer
14.  A monocular (a single eye of a pair of binoculars)
15.  Tic-Tacs,  Jack's gotta stay fresh
16.  2 bandanas, one red and one blue, just in case jack needs to infiltrate the crips and/or the bloods
17.  tweezers
18.  Purell Hand sanitizer, again, Jack's gotta stay fresh
19.  A picture of Kim, his daughter, he loves her.
20.  A minature American Flag, he loves the U.S.A.
21.  Devices to trace/bug calls and find out what the shit is goin on
22.  5 tracking devices of different makes/models
23.  "231 ways to kill a badguy" by Blake Rellington

… Just kidding,  Jack escaped the womb knowing 1238 ways to kill badguys…duh

24. a snickers bar,  Hungry, why wait?
25. sticky things so that he could scale a wall if need be
26.  One of those things that criminals always use to open glass.  You know the kind they attach to the window and then draw a circle right out of the glass?  yea well he deffinately has one of those.
27.  the entire treasure of the Knights Templar,  I mean come on, who else could keep that secure?
28.  truth serum
29.  an extra hand gun and 20 extra clips
30.  A towell… Jack is a man of the guide


I know you all are saying, "thats a shitload of stuff to fit into a small bag like Jack's, and I asked my sources over a secure line how he fit all that in, only to be told that that information is obviously confidentail top secret.  I mean what would happen if the masses found out the secret to a never ending satchel?  I'll tell you what, anarchy.  And Jack doesn't want anarchy so neither should you.  So stop asking questions and let Jack do his job.   We'll all be a lot safter that way.