Business/Chinese

What they say:

"I am a business major, but unlike other business students,I am serious about my schoolwork. The way the world economy is developing,China's role will continue to grow and soon the demand for American businessmenwho speak Chinese will skyrocket. I am studying Chinese so that I will beproficient by the end of my 4 years in college and I know it will help me in mypursuit for a rewarding and successful career in international business."


What we hear:

"COLLEGE, WHOOOOO! Chinese? Fuck that. I took the first twoweeks of intensive and it was really hard. I'm just going to drop it and try toget an internship in my hometown this summer. I'm looking into one now thatpays like $7.25 and hour, and as long as you don't fuck up you're pretty muchguaranteed an offer! Sorry bro, I can't talk anymore. It's 8 o'clock on aTuesday night and I'm not even drunk yet."


Pre-Med/ Psychology

What they say:

"I love science and know that I want to go to med school andbecome a physician. In addition to the hard sciences that can be applied to afuller understanding of the workings of the human body, I am also interested inhealing the human person as a whole. Because of this, I also study Psychology,so that I can be a complete physician who factors in both physical and mentalhealth in his treatments."


What we hear:

"I'm planning on applying to med school, but I know I'm notsmart enough to cut it majoring in a real science. Instead, I have decided totake some basic science courses and boost my GPA with easy psych classes. Medschools look at just your science GPA too? Oh shit, I better do a researchproject this summer."


Theology/Philosophy

What they say:

"Philosophy is the keystone of the development of human kindas a superior species, and it represents the highest form of human reason;thinking about man's existence in the universe and attempting to explain hisrelationship with it. Philosophy is also closely tied to theology, or man's attemptto find his place in the world in which he seems to have no clear direction orpurpose. Theology and Philosophy together represent the pinnacle of humanintellectual achievements, and they should be integrated into every aspect of auniversity education above all else."


What we hear:

"I think I'm really intellectual because I have not justone, but two completely useless majors. I can't get enough of discussingtheology and philosophy with a room full of people who think they are geniusesas we mentally jerk ourselves off. I can't believe how much more insightful andmore capable of critical thinking I am than the students in other majors in mycollege. I am so smart and interesting, and I love trying to impress girls bymentioning my super intellectual and cool sounding majors."


Peace Studies/Latin American Studies

What they say:

"Hey man, I'm like, all about saving the world. The statethat humanity is in right now is unacceptable, and I am going to be the forcethat changes it. I am going to El Salvador this summer to volunteer and thencoming back to the US to try and raise funds to start a mission there. Everylittle bit counts, and if everyone plays his or her part, we can make thisworld a peaceful place."


What we hear:

"They have some awesome drugs in third world countries man.I smoked some crazy shit in Mexico over winter break called Acapulco Gold. Iwas trippin' balls for days man, haha… do you know where I can find some potaround here?"


Classics/Latin

What they say:

"Classic literature gives us the greatest works ever createdby man. However, some of the most important texts in human history, that doeverything from inspire us to achieve greatness to make us weep withunrelenting sadness, can only be experienced to their fullest extent in thetext's original language. You have never truly experienced Virgil until youhave read the original Latin text, trust me."


What we hear:

"I fully acknowledge and have come to terms with the factthat I will die a virgin."