Ethan: Huge weekend for college football coming up, so let's get right to our picks: can the Citadel beat Florida?
Amir: If their game against Webber International is any indication, and it is not, then no!
Amir: Jokes on you, 49ers! Why isn't Mike Singletary laughing? If you could choose any two teams to play in the championship game, who would it be? Keep in mind, you can't choose Wake Forest.
Ethan: At this point I prefer not watching Wake it's sort of painful. I think the best game to watch would be Texas Tech-Florida. Those two offenses are both fun to watch. I do, however, enjoy a good Texas game, just to watch Mack Brown go berserk on the sideline. BoDog's offering 8:1 odds that his head will explode before the seaon's over.
Amir: Take it, and parlay that with the over of any game Tech plays this year. Oddly enough my choice is a game that's happening anyway. Citadel/Florida. Bowl game idea: The Unrespected Undefeated Bowl. This year could be Utah vs. Ball State!
Ethan: Can Boise State play winner?
Amir: "hey just need to sign up ahead of time. It's a very lax bowl game.
Ethan:This is why we need a small-conference playoff system, people! Thank God President Obama's already on the case. If he really wants to fix sports, though, he'll appoint Bud Selig to a cabinet position to get him out of MLB's offices. Come on, Barack: just appoint Selig to something. Doesn't have to be anything important. Secretary of State will do. Diplomats will love making fun of his haircut!
Amir: Sorry, Hilary is the front runner, and she's got a haircut people are already making fun of.
Ethan: Let's pick the big games: Who are you taking in Texas Tech-Oklahoma this weekend? What about BYU-Utah and Michigan State-Penn State?
Amir: Texas-Tech wins until Graham Harrell-bot is programmed to complete less than 80% of his passes. I'll take the undefeated Utah in the Mormon bowl, and Penn State because why not!
Ethan: Michigan State's already seen Michigan lose at least eight games this year; isn't that enough of a win for them? I'd agree on Texas Tech, but I'm going to pick BYU for the upset special. Their defense is just a tad worse than Utah's, but they've scored as many points. At least we know this game won't end in a tie.
Amir: So you're saying we're smarter than Donovan McNabb and evidently half of the players in the NFL?
Ethan: What did he think was going to happen? They were just going to keep playing? Watching part of that game, it looked like neither team's offense was competent enough to score again. Ever. If not for ties, they'd be entering the 78th OT as we write this. And Westbrook would still only have single-digit fantasy points.
Amir: How do casual sports fans know more than NFL players? I thought McNabb would be ostracized for his comments, but players are coming defending him! Even weirder, Patrick Ewing said today that he thought NBA games COULD end in a tie.
Ethan: At least the refs knew the rules in that game, which is more than you could say for the Steelers' crew. I kept waiting for a Fat Tony-esque Mafia don to walk out to the ref who called back Polamalu's touchdown and hand him a sack with a dollar sign printed on the side. Worst call you've ever seen? (Non-Hochuli division, of course.)
Amir: It didn't really matter because the game was over, so it can't be that bad of a call. Besides it gave us our first 11-10 football score ever! Next up: 11-1!
Amir: Maybe the Oklahoma City Thunder need a new anything. Did OKC keep the receipt?
Ethan: Yeah, but they can only return the team to Seattle for store credit. Would you want the Seahawks?
Amir: Here's an actual question, did the WNBA Storm come with the Thunder? Is that how it works? Are they like an abused housewife?
Ethan: Nope, Seattle had to keep them. Added insult to injury.
Amir: We're only ten games deep, but Derrick Rose and OJ Mayo are both averaging 20 points a game. Maybe that year at college IS useful?
Ethan: Definitely, if only because they got to take Sociology 101. Kevin Love can really dissect the subgroups that have formed in the Wolves' locker room thanks to that class. How great are the new-look Suns and their willingness to play dirty? Entertaining basketball wasn't working, so let's become the 1993-94 Knicks!
Amir: I'll take an occasional fight over high scoring offense.
Ethan: Spoken like a man with Charles Oakley's face tattooed on his abdomen. Do you have a read on the college hoops season yet? So far my only conclusion is "Kentucky really, really, really sucks." I think it's accurate, but I might have to add some more "really"s as the season progresses.
Amir: It's too early to tell whether not UCLA will make it to the final four or championship game before blowing it this year.
Ethan: I agree. We'll know more in a week or two. Right now I'm dead certain that if the NCAA held a co-ed March Madness, I'm betting on UConn. That's about all I know, though. Got an interesting fact?
Amir: In the NBA, every season since 1999-2000, the West has had a better record against the East in games where one played the other INCLUDING the All-Star game. (Not including the Dunk Contest)
Ethan: Surprisingly, nobody knows who has the edge in the Shooting Stars competition. Until next week, get excited for Mark Cuban's insider trading scandal! Too bad nobody gave him inside info about Jason Kidd being overpaid and washed-up.
Amir and Ethan run StraightCashHomey.net : A Random Jersey Blog