The creamed onions to the Internet's Thanksgiving.
How sad is it that the best dog actors only get to work with the worst human ones?
New plot for a Jason Statham movieIf his character does not kick enough ass in an hour and a half, his movie will suck really bad.
What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Chinese DemocracyIt took Axl Rose 15 years to release his new album. But anyone who's a big enough Guns N' Roses fan to be upset has probably achieved even less since then.
If you think that taking 21 shots on your 21st birthday is hard, just remember how hard it was for your 8th birthday.
For some reason I always experience stagefright whenever I pee in public. Which is bad news for me, and even worse news for the people in the front row of the theatre.
Why is it called "legally drunk" if you can get a ticket?
My Thanksgiving resolution this year is to finally figure out which customs belong to which holiday.
Shouldn't regret be considered an STD?
A pharmacist is just a drug dealer who stayed in school.
I was dating a girl for a couple years but it just got too serious, so we got a divorce and sent the kids to live in an orphanage. It's better for everyone this way.