It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!
My roommate this year is a pretty cool guy I have know him for a while and we have no issues, but his girlfriend on the other hand is a total b*tch. She never leaves even when he isn't here, and she eats all the food regardless of who bought it. She also has a knack for hogging the TV and watching Charmed for hours on end usually to all hours of the night. Yesterday on the news I heard it was going to freeze overnight, so after they went to bed I went outside and threw buckets of water outside the door so it would leave a huge ice sheet. This morning I woke up to the most hellish screams ever, apparently when she walked out the door this morning she slipped and fell straight on her face. The best part is her front teeth are loose and might fall out. Maybe she will finally stop thinking she owns the apartment.
Sean Perrone, Sam Houston State
Hey Jessica you and your b*tchy girlfriends always used my stuff. You always used my towel and put it back. Remember one time you got poison ivy all over your body and you never figured out why? Well here's why ho: I went behind our house where there's a bunch of poison ivy and I rubbed it all over my towel 'cause I knew you were gonna use it. Don't ever use my sh*t again without my permission.
Adrianna Fox, North Central
My ex-roommate recently lost his virginity at the age of 24. After the first week of daily sex in his existence, he told me of his adventures
and his struggles. "I had a difficult time finding the clitoris" he tells me, which was amusing enough in itself to make me laugh out loud. "After I found it I lost it again." I was in tears. I actually wrote it down. I didn't know that was possible! How does one "lose the clit??" This is better than the time he thought I gave him herpes from a poorly cleaned dish. The fact that I didn't have herpes (he eventually found out he didn't either) had no effect. He was visibly angry at me often for this. Found out it was a stress related rash.
One day me and my friends were pregaming for a party that we had been waiting for the past week. Well out of nowhere they decided to go to some gay bar across the street since they all had fake id's and I didn't I was left drunk in my room without a car and a cellphone. (lost it 2 days before) One of the guys was a real douche that nobody liked but we all hung out with him cause he had money and would pay for alcohol and food whenever we wanted. So I called the bar and told them that my friend was in there with a fake id. They found him and kicked him out. The cops showed up he was arrested and given 30 hrs of community service and a $500 fine. Also the baseball coach found out and took away his scholarship and he ended up dropping out of school. That's what you get for ditching me asshole.
Adam O'Brien, Bluefield State College
It's a relief to hear that you finally figured out that I despise you. Maybe if you didn't try to hook up with other girls while we were dating, and brag about it to your frat, hit on my friends, go on vacation with a fat, ugly girl right after we broke up (who you admitted was fat and ugly, but then went to visit 4 different times 1st semester), or try, repeatedly, to take other girls in my sorority home, things would be different. Or, maybe if you hadn't been a whiny asshole the entire time we were dating, I might reconsider seeing you in this light. Nevertheless, as hard as I tried to overlook these things, the fact that you are a complete schmuck seems to be unavoidable. I hope you enjoyed having lunch with my friend today. She said you really talked her ear off about all of the job offers daddy got for you and what sweet things you were going to buy when you get your first pay check. I guess some self-centered, materialistic assholes never change. Maybe, if you play your cards right, you can set even yourself up to be rejected by yet another girl in my sorority. And I'm sorry again to hear that you got Mono right in the middle of finals. I heard that can really be a bitch. I wouldn't be too worried though, I'm sure you can get one of the fat chicks you've fucked recently to come take care of you. It may feel like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, but look on the bright side, I bet they cook really well! Hope you got that pre-mature ejaculation thing taken care of and good luck on exams! P.S. Remember when your friend told you that we got really drunk welcome week and made out once? Well, we didn't just make out and it wasn't just once. In fact, his hand print is still on my headboard from last Thursday. And, just so you know, your entire frat knows. Have a good one!