Ryu Wins

Ryu: You did quite well, but you need more training to defeat me!

Balrog: You got two perfects on me so you're probably right. Any tips?

Ryu: Well, I'd say if there was anything I'd work on for a guy your size and weight, I might try to be faster. Some more stretching and jogging just to loosen the legs up a bit.

Balrog: Oh, that's good advice. See, I need to hear stuff like this.

***

Dhalsim Wins

Dhalsim: Now you realize the inner mysteries of yoga!

Ken: Yeah, wow. I don't even know how your arms stretch out like that. Crazy!

Dhalsim: Thanks, yeah, it took a lot of practice.

Ken: I always thought yoga was, like, a low-impact exercise.

Dhalsim: It is, but I mean, there are different types of –

Ken: Obviously, yeah.

Dhalsim: Different yoga, yeah. I mean, it is more for meditation and I'm really a pacifist.

Ken: Yeah, well, you just passed a fist eight feet into my face!

Dhalsim: Hah! Buddy, you're alright. Let me buy you a drink.

Ken: I thought Muslims couldn't have alcohol.

Dhalsim: I'm not Muslim.

Ken: (Deep intake of breath) Oh now this is awkward.

/p>

Vega Wins

Vega: Handsome fighters never lose battles.

Blanka: Man, fuck you.


Zangief Wins

Zangief: Next time we meet I'm gonna break your arms!

E. Honda: Yikes! Point taken! No rematch for me!

Zangief: A body like this could only be made in Soviet Russia!

E. Honda: No argument here.

Zangief: Feel this arm! That is the strength of communism!

E. Honda: I don't – I don't know what you're getting at.

Zangief: (Whispering) Please help me escape. I have a daughter. Take us to freedom and she's yours. She's very beautiful.

E. Honda: Whoa! I can't just take your daughter!

Zangief: Of course not! Because she was born to bear strong Soviet boys! (Whispering) Do you want us both to die? Then why do you speak so the officials can hear? My daughter can do things that will drive you crazy.

E. Honda: How do you know something like that?

***

Guile Wins

Guile: Go home and be a family man.

Chun Li: I actually can't.