Hello there College Humor!

Mike here! I just wanted to say a few words on the dangers and perils of drug use. Now all you guys are at that age where smoking a little dope or eating some magic mushrooms may seem like a cool and fun thing to do. However… wait what? Did you say something? No? Alright… What was I talking about…. Oh yes, drugs. So yea, drugs may seem neat, and you may believe that if you use drugs they will make things more fun for you, or they might even make people like you. This is just not… Did you hear that? It's like a ringing or beating or something… Ok it's gone… I think. Anywho, back to the subject at hand, which of course is…. Drugs? Yep that's definitely what I was talking about. Now I'm sure you have all been offered drugs by a friend or acquaintance, and they might say something like "Hey man, lighten up!" or "Live a little dude!", but that's called peer…. I want to say… persuasion? Coercion?… Peer… peer, peer, peer, peer, what a weird word. HA, weird word… what? You may also hear that some drugs are not as bad as other drugs, but let me tell you something. I think my cat knows… you know? Like he keeps looking at me, silently judging… Alright, remember what I said here today, and if you walk away from this with anything, let it be Just say no to… cats?

Yours Truly

It's better if you don't know my name…