It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.

Hey Matt, I heard that you still can't get the smell out of your car, and I thought I would let you know that you should just replace the seats. We let the mixture of eggs, piss and tilapia sit out in the sun for a few days before we injected it into the foam of your car seats (just to make sure that it would be nice and fragrant)! Since it has already been a few months, I thought I would let you know before the summer hits and the smell in your Z gets worse.
Kaitlin Marie

So my one roommate decided to move her boyfriend in without so much as a word, and make things uncomfortable. At first we would be good with giving each other nights alone, but then she decided that it wasn't enough, and would have sex across from me. Now when they tried to be discreet I didn't care, but when I had a friend over and they're really getting into it I decided she needed to stop. But since we never communicated, I did what any person who posts here would do: came home half-drunk with my date she hadn't met yet, and decided blankets were unnecessary. I didn't have a problem after that.

Maddie P.

 

Brandon, last weekend when we were drunk I ate all of your bologna and lied about it. Sorry.
Colin Kent, Iowa State

To the sorority girls I lived with – Everytime anybody left alcohol in the freezer I stole it. I peed on all of your loofas and in all of your shampoo bottles. After those shampoos ran out and you bought new ones. I threw them all away along with everything else you had in the bathroom. Then after I moved out I came back (drunk) to drop off my keys and destroyed your bathroom and stole your beloved poster of stupid kittens. Somebody came home while I was locked in the bathroom, so to escape without being seen, I kicked out the window screen and fell flat on my face onto the cement and broken glass out of your 15 foot high window. You called the police and tried to get me charged with 1st degree burglary. I got out of it all by playing victim and never had to pay for your bathroom, poster, OR window. Still have the poster hanging on my wall as a trophy. To K – my dog went under your bed and chewed up one of your sex toys.
Angela Bayo, FSU

A couple of my friends had this asshole RA who was always being a bitch about anybody drinking and smoking and having fun. Didn't really practice what he preached, though, and was always blackmailing us for booze and shit. He had to go,  so one weekend we gained access to one of his parties and videotaped the bastard smoking a fatty and groping some chick who wound up riding him when we busted into his bedroom later. Hillarious shit. When we showed him the video on my computer and told him to mind his own fucking business in the future he went absolutely apeshit and threatened us, which he sort of wasn't in any position to be doing at that point. Anyway, a few days later the prick actually broke into my apartment and tried to steal my computer to "destroy the evidence", I guess. When he failed because my computer is bolted to the floor, he went nuke and fucked the entire apartment up. All caught on hidden camera in crisp HD, because obviously we knew he'd try some shit like that. We turned that video AND the other one over to the administration as well as the police, and he was kicked out, of course, and charged with B&E, destruction of property, possesion of narcotics and statutory rape, because the chick turned out to be a little on the young side.
Stein Holmes

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