It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.
I brought the futon and the microwave and you said you'd bring the TV and an X-box. I brought my stuff, and then waited an entire semester for you to get a TV and an X-box. What kind of TV do you bring? Some worthless analog piece of ass. I had to do something to make your dad send us an actual TV. So one night, I stumbled into our room looking for my wallet so I could order you the pizza I owed you. In my reckless haste I stealthily pushed the TV off the table and it landed on that stupid marble gorilla you have, which in turn punctured the screen. I told you it was the creeper on our floor who had something against me. Sorry man, but I bring a perfectly nice futon and microwave, and have to wait an entire SEMESTER to suck at Halo 3 on a wood box?
Dave Berndtson, University of Wisconsin-Madison
So, when you read about how I switched the syllabus, you appropriately flipped out. But when you tried to "get back" at me by unplugging my fridge and spoiling everything in there, that was just pathetic. But you still managed to piss me off. I was the one that downloaded the three movies on your computer from Limewire whilst you were connected to the Ethernet cable, giving you your second IT strike and ultimately banning you from internet privileges for the remainder of the semester. Sorry you can't beat it to internet porn anymore. When you read this, come up with something creative.
I had a complete crazy ass for a roommate last year. She would kick dents in her ex's cars using her stilettos, have daily one-sided screaming fights, throw all night parties when she knew I had tests the next day, put all her shoes in the dryer when she knew I was sleeping, and would steal stuff then scream about how everything was always her fault. The breaking point was when she posted daily myspace bulletins about how much she hated me and outlining her big plan of filling out apartment with birds (Sidenote: what the hell?). So, I got revenge first. One of my friends had a bladder infection about this time and had to take Azzo which turned her piss orange. So I got a box of tablets, ground them into powder, and sprinkled it into my roommate's bag of cheddar-cheese popcorn. My roommate was a complete whore, so I can imagine all the Google searches looking for STDs with orange piss as a symptom.
Ashley M., School Not Given
Nate remember how the rug in our room disappeared and I said I'd had takeout in the room and spilled all over it? What actually happened was, when you were at West Virginia visiting your girlfriend, I hooked up with your sister, and in my drunk state, the floor seemed like the right spot. Well, Nate, your sister was a virgin at the time so needless to say, it ruined the rug, and my ability to look at your sister without needing to fight back the desire to vomit. Hope Spain is fun and you remember all the 40s I bought you when you read this.
Peter C, Univeristy of Virginia
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