Phone Rings and Operator Answers

Operator: Thank you for calling ShamWow, how can I assist you today?

Caller: Yeah I wanna get one of those ShamWows I saw on TV. I have no idea what I'm gonna use it for but I gotta have one.

Operator: Okay I can help you with that, I'm gonna need your name, address, ph-

Caller: My name's John Mc-

Operator: phone number, credit card number, you following me guy?

Caller: Yeah…

Operator: Expiration date, security code, and how many you want.

Caller: Okay, how much is it by the way?

Operator: It will be $39.99…. each, plus shipping and handling.

Caller: What?! I thought it would only be $19.99 for 8 of them.

Operator: Sir that was if you called within the next 20 minutes, and it's been 23 minutes. I can't be giving away that deal all day…

Caller: Oh…

Operator: So let me sign you up for our ShamWow Premier Membership and you'll get 10 ShamWows delivered to you within 4-6 weeks and after that you'll get 2 new ShamWows each month and we'll just bill your credit card, it's so easy!

Caller: But I don't want that many ShamWows, what would I even do with that many?

Operator: You can use them for anything, guy. It's for the house, the car, the rv, use it as a bath mat, drain the dishes with it, you-

Caller: That's great… but I still don't want that many.

Operator: Oh come on, guy. These ShamWows are made in Germany and you know the Germans always make good stuff.

Caller:  Yeah I get it but who would want that many towels?

Operator: You know Olympic divers? They use this as a towel.

Caller:  So the Olympic diving team gets a new set of ShamWows every month?

Operator:  You can roll your sweater up in it and it will completely dry it.

Caller:  Like my clothes dryer in my laundry room?

Operator:  You can spill soda, wine, pet stains, anything on the carpet and this will suck it all up.

Caller:  Like a vacuum cleaner?

Operator:  I dunno, it practically sells itself.

Caller:  You sound awfully familiar, just like-

Operator: Nobody, I sound like nobody, my voice is just distorted because of my headset microphone, I mean telephone!

Caller: Aha! I knew you were the ShamWow guy! Why are you answering the phone?

Operator: I get extra commissions this way… Now how about that premier membership?

Caller: I just realized that I don't need this in any way, sorry bro.

Caller Hangs Up.

Operator: Damn it! Lost another one, I knew I should've offered him a Slap Chop to sweeten the deal.


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