Previously on Heroes
Fatt Porkman got pignapped and wrapped in dynamite, then shoved out of a van and into the middle of Washington D.C. by Agent Danko, who wants the world think that superheroes are terrorists.
Less Previously on Heroes
Since the demise of Pushing Daisies, which I assume is a show about physically assaulting various girls named Daisy, celebrated Season 1 Heroes scribe Bryan Fuller is back in the writers' room. Bodes well, but we'll see
The episode begins with the Puppetmaster eating Claire's popcorn, which is not, to the relief of everyone, a sexual euphemism. He says Rebel told him she'd help him, but she says no way. He says he's changed, and that he's not going to force her to save him.
At Superhero Hunting Headquaters, Corpse and Nathan are trading variations on "I don't trust you" when suddenly Nathan gets a call informing him that Parkman is about to spray the Capitol building with half digested Croissant Pockets. He flies out there and offers to help Matt disarm the bomb, but Matt doesn't trust him, and can't read his mind because he's been drugged with Plotcontrivacil.
Back at HQ, Corpse spies Nathan arriving on the scene and, sensing an opportunity to kill two birds with one very explodey stone, orders the device to be triggered immediately. But wait! With the drugs wearing off, Matt starts reading the minds of bomb squad members until he finds one who is thinking about how to disarm it.
He eventually does, and for saving both their lives, Nathan gives him a celebratory punch in the face.
Having finally (finally!) ditched Mr. Coffee, Sylar has finally arrived at the home of Sylar Sr., whom we discovered last week shares his son's hatred of intact human heads. Sylar is there to kill him, but unfortunately cancer is already doing the job. The actor playing him, by the way, is Lionel Luthor from Smallville, who seems to be typecasting himself in an extremely specific way.
Back at HQ, I think Nathan is politely requesting that Capt. Corpse relinquish his command, but it's hard to hear him from inside that locker. Meanwhile, in her cell, Tracy starts yelling that Nathan has powers, and it only took her like three goddamn months to give that strategy a try. Also she sees a message from REBEL telling her to keep the faith hope is coming.
Corpse walks in and demands to know if Nathan has an ability. Changing her mind about exposing him, Tracy's like "He has the ability to not make me orgasm, if that counts."
Claire's feeling all guilty about not helping the Puppetmaster, "because on the one hand he's a psychotic murdering rapist, but on the other hand, he, like, cried a little?" Also she goes to get Alex's old job at the comic book shop, and the owner is all "Which superpower would you rather have, invisibility or flight?" and she's like "Whichever one gets to use a taser." And the guy is like "it's OK, they're only comic books" and I guess this is all supposed to be hilarious because SHE'S A SUPERHERO FOR REALS, YOU KNOW?
Sylar still plans to kill his dad I guess but for now he's just hanging out with him, so it's sort of like the end of Kill Bill Vol. 2 except nobody is making retarded speeches about Superman, which is sort of ironic, actually. Sylar learns that his pops has lots of powers of his own, such as Making a Bunny Stand Still, which he performs spectacularly. Then he tells Sylar that it's in his nature to kill, and then offers to tell him more if he kills the bunny.
Noah tells Capt. Corpse he can find out more about Nathan if he talks to Angela Petrelli, then immediately calls Angela to warn her. Claire phones him soon after, asking how he managed to live a double life for so long. She's all "Which path do I take?" and he's like "ugh, I dunno, ask Robert Frost or some shit."
Claire gets a text from REBEL alerting her that the Pupptemaster is being apprehended, only when it cuts to him he seems to have the upper hand on the agents who tracked him down. As Claire looks on, he dispatches both of them without resorting to murder. Naturally assuming this means he is no longer a bad guy, she's decides to help him after all. Meanwhile the Puppetmaster is thinking "Good thing she showed up before I made them start raping each other with their gun barrels."
Angela meets with Capt. Corpse in a restaurant and, between feverishly gulping down food and wine like some concubine of Caligula, she tries her best to convince him that Nathan never had any powers. When Darko says he doesn't believe her, she starts divulging dirt she's found on him.
Sylar and his pops are doing a little father-son taxidermy when Sylar accidentally slices his hand open. His dad sees the wound heal, and decides to play a little game of William Tell-me-how-the-fuck-you-just-did-that by firing arrows at Sylar, pinning him to the wall. But before he can open his son's skull to find the Secret to Eternal Life (It's somewhere the grail-shaped part of the brain), Sylar wakes up, subdues him, and leaves him to die of cancer/obviously reappear in a future episode.
Nathan fires Danko with about as much confidence and authority as Michael Scott showed that time he tried to lay off Creed. Danko responds by immediately shoving Nathan out a window. Forced to manifest his ability to avoid falling to his like eighteenth fucking death, Nathan is finally exposed as a superperson. He's like "How did you know I could fly" and Danko peers over the ledge like "YOU CAN FUCKING FLY??"
That's What She Said:
-"Don't you come any closer to me."
-"Matt, I'm gonna pull it."
-"I want to know how the hell he's getting inside, and I want a name."