Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody!  I trust you all did your best to honor Saint Patrick, the patron saint of puking before three and wearing retarded hats.

Now on to the 'news'!

Lisa Rinna, one of the original cast members of 1992's Melrose Place, was spotted this week wearing a sign asking to be cast in the Melrose Place remake.  See, middle class?  You're not the only ones desperately trying to make ends meet. (Hollywood Tuna)

This week, an ad for Angelina Jolie's movie 'Wanted' was pulled off the British airwaves for 'glorifying violence.'  I don't see what the big deal is.  Anyone make a bullet curve around their friend's head if they want it bad enough. (WWTDD)

Kanye West was charged this week with misdemeanor vandalism, battery and grand theft for the paparazzi he attached last year at LAX.  He could get two and half years in jail for this.  Spoiler alert: he won't. (DListed)

Rumors broke this week of a John Mayer tell-all book, which would chronicle his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, and include anecdotes such as the time she called him 'Brad' in bed.  Man, there must be nothing more emasculating than being called 'Brad Pitt' in bed and having it not be from a fantasy. (IDLYITW)

DJ AM is suing the Learjet company that almost killed him and Travis Barker last year, and wants $10 million in damages for 'lost earnings and profits.'  Which is, of course, the going rate for a sometimes DJ. (IDLYITW)

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon are (supposedly) engaged!  I tried to make them a cute couple name (TomKat, Brangelina) but all I got was a Swedish cough medicine (Witherhaal).  Oh well. (WWTDD)

Looks like Guy Ritchie has finally moved on from Madonna, as he was seen this week canoodling with Elle Macpherson.  An upgrade for Guy, as she is LITERALLY ANY OTHER HUMAN BESIDES MADONNA. (Celebslam)

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson got into another epic fight this week after a long night of 'partying at Chateau Marmont and Jack Nicholson's house.'  I'm sorry, what?  Jack Nicholson's house?  Is this, like, a thing?  That Jack Nicholson does?  Can Jack Nicholson even stay up that late? (WWTDD)

Cleave of the week, guys.  This week we have a repeat offender, but I just could not deprive you of Katy Perry's mams struggling to break free from this 'shirt'.  Civilizations have died for less. (Egotastic)

This week, Vanity Fair featured a West Side Story-inspired photo shoot to honor the musical's return to Broadway.  Among the stars featured in the spread were Jennifer Lopez, Camilla Belle, Brittany Snow, Ashley Tisdale and then, out of f*cking nowhere, the vampire dude from Twilight.  Because that makes sense. (DListed)

Some crazy chick from Project Runway beat her fiance with a cat this week, making her the real life version of this. (DListed)

Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller gave birth to twins this week, and man, you just cannot stop this trend of insane baby names.  Are you ready for this?  You sure?  It's a dooze.  Straight insane.  Ready?  Ok.  Max and Bob.  Yes. (DListed)

Brooke Hogan was at some event this week and decided to 'treat' the crowd to a pole dance.  Although I'm not sure 'pole dance' is the right word.  How about 'using a pole to slowly fall to the ground and lay there for a while'? (Celebslam)

Gossip Girls Blake Lively and Leighton Meester know how the male mind works.  Don't believe me?  You are one click away from being dead wrong.  You are also one click away from a full-on chubb. (Egotastic)

This week Miley Cyrus, who was turned away from meeting Radiohead at the Grammys, went on the radio and whined about it, saying she was gonna 'ruin' them.  Then, Thom Yorke straight up flipped Miley over and spanked her, saying 'When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement,' swiftly delivering the most epic pwnage Hollywood has ever seen. (DListed)

And last but not least, this week's Still Got It.  Harry Connick Jr's pregnancy and Mary Kate Olsen's lack of pigment were both frontrunners this week, but Fergie beat them both out with her new, 'washed-up Wednesday from The Addams Family'-inspired look.  Congratulations, Fergie!   You Still Got It. (DListed, Hollywood Tuna)