Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Watchmen: Open Mic Night
April 1, 2009
It is 10:30 on Tuesday Night at 'The Chuckle Bucket' and the Master of Ceremonies walks out onto the stage.
: Alright everybody thank you for coming to The Chuckle Bucket! Your next comedian this evening is 38-year old masked adventurer Rorschach. Let's all give him a big hand!
Audience applauds and Rorschach enters from stage left.
: Man goes to house. Goes knock knock. Lady answers 'Who's there?' Man says 'Banana'. Lady says, 'Banana Who?'. Man says, 'Banana'. Lady says, 'Banana Who'? Man says, 'Banana'. Lady says, 'Banana Who?'. Man goes Knock Knock. Lady fed up, gets angry. Says, 'Who's there?'. Man says, 'Orange'. Lady says, 'Orange Who?'. Man says, 'Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?'
Audience stays silent.
: Must move on, joke left bad taste in mouth. Duck walks into bar. Drinks a lot. Bartender says, 'Okay buddy, time to pay.' Duck says, 'Just put it on bill.'
Audience is still silent, two people cough, one person in back boos.
This audience is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.
An audience member in the front row stands up.
We're not afraid of you, freak!
I told good joke. No one laugh. No roll on snare drum. Must be scared.
Are you retarded or something? Noone's laughing because you aren't funny. And what's the deal with the way you talk? Do you have a speech impediment or something?
Rorschach grabs the audience member and shoves the microphone stand through his skull.
I don't have speech impediment. You are one with speech impediment.
Everyone in the club starts screaming and runs out of the building, leaving only Rorschach.
Rorschach's Journal: Tuesday, did first stand up tonight. Left me depressed. Tomorrow I start on writing screenplay.
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