The Yoohoo to actual reading's chocolate milk.
The Newest "Lost" Mystery: What happened to Jack's balls?
I believe the bible is literally god's word and command, so I always skip celebrating Passover.
My friend asked me if I wanted to do a line of coke the other day. I said, "No, I don't want to get too f*cked up tonight. Just give me a line segment."
Jack ButtonWhat if you mixed Robin Williams' character from 'Jack' and Brad Pitt in 'Benjamin Button', not to attempt to cure anything, but just to see how awful the movie that came out of it would be
Pleasant SurpriseAll this time, I thought the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" was a sequel to "Alien vs. Predator". Boy was I mistaken.
If I had a nickel for every time I've had to apologize for running over your pets and burying them in your yard before you came home, I would have ten cents.
I'm not an alcoholic; I'm just freelance quality assurance for the beer industry
I think it is ironic A-Rod was getting nasty with that octogenarian Madonna and he is the one who ends up throwing out his hip.
I want to throw a communist party and have everyone get hammered. It would be sickle.
Did you knowThat female praying mantises will eat their partner after mating? Which is why I only go to third base with praying mantises.
Since we already see the world in three dimensions, I started wearing 3-D glasses around so that I could see things in 6-D The sixth dimension is blurry and discolored.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
Ivan Drago, Professional Billiard Player"I must break you."
Belgium Waffles: A small country's over compensation.