President Calls Response to Seriesof  Terrorist Attacks that left  Hundreds Dead Yesterday  a "Success"

              Yesterday an unknown group of terrorists attacked theWhite House, Blew up two planes, Tried to create a nuclear meltdown, andattempted to use a biological weapon on American Soil. It has already beencalled the greatest attack " since last year when the same type of thinghappened"

                President Taylor has called the efforts of firstresponse and S.W.A.T. teams a "Great Success" and has called for Americans tocelebrate the achievement of one American in Particular: Jack Bauer.

                Bauer is the same man who stood on trial just a dayago for torturing terrorists to " get the information he needed" .  He is also the man single handedly stoppedover 6 other attack and is known best for killing 94 terrorists in the span offour days.

                Amazingly all of these attacks are coordinated totake place and be done with within twenty four hours and the terrorists alwayshave more fallback plans that call for increasingly elaborate setups and shootouts

Though we did gaininterview with Bauer all he really did was grunt and mumble.